Paul Versus Paul

Does Ron or Rand have a better shot at the presidency?

By Alex Pareene

Published April 4, 2011 8:45PM (EDT)

Rand Paul and Ron Paul
Rand Paul and Ron Paul

Texas libertarian Ron Paul will probably run for president again. But if he doesn't, his son, brand-new Republican Senator Rand Paul just might run instead. Which one would make the better candidate? Which one has even a shot at winning a single primary or caucus, anywhere? Probably neither one, but that is no reason why we cannot compare and contrast their "strengths" in a hypothetical 2012 match-up:

Ron Paul Rand Paul
Wise and experienced Young and dynamic
Already has kick-ass logo Much better at sucking up to money
More time in office Senator outranks Representative
Actually interesting to listen to Not 100 years old
Didn't rename himself "Rand" like an idiot Didn't publish racist newsletters like an idiot
 Is a real doctor, not just a silly "eye doctor" Has message from tea parties
Already has kick-ass logo Prickly demeanor, droning speaking style denote "authenticity"
Wars he opposes no longer managed by Republican president More "mainstream" than father due to not talking about libertarian stuff that freaks out Republicans
Understands that deficit is caused mostly by giving healthcare to immigrants Has decided Constitution needn't be read literally when dealing with immigrants
Long history of voting no on everything appeals to childish, nasty feeling of resentment at heart of American dream Hates mountains
Supporters will rent blimps Supporters will stomp on heads until he is elected

Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at and follow him on Twitter @pareene

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