An awkward guy at the orgy

I went to the orgy hoping to hook up with other guys my age. Instead I found old men -- and an endless poker game

By Matthew Lawrence

Published March 13, 2012 3:59AM (EDT)

        (<a href=''>luckyraccoon</a> via <a href=''>Shutterstock</a>)
(luckyraccoon via Shutterstock)

During the phone interview I explained to Lance that I didn't really like playing poker. Honestly, I didn’t even know how to play poker, but I feared the consequences of telling him that.

"I just really wanted to come for the group sex," I admitted, panicking a little. The 35-and-Under Safe Sex Orgy was happening that evening and with my work schedule I knew that I wouldn't have time to learn how to play poker before then. And aren’t poker players known for being very, very serious? What if nobody wanted to have sex with me because I didn’t know when to hold ‘em, or when to fold ‘em, or whatever you do.

Lance assured me that playing poker really loosened the guys up before the action started. Lance had a very sexy telephone voice, so I believed him. "We don't even let people in the room if they show up after the poker starts," he added with an undercurrent ...

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Matthew Lawrence

Matthew Lawrence is a writer and editor based in Providence, Rhode Island. He co-publishes Headmaster, the biannual art magazine for man-lovers. His blog, which he is bad about updating, is called Mixtapes For Hookers. He's pretty good at Twitter, though.

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