In this week's limerick contest, Salon readers vented their spleen at Paul Ryan. In particular, the candidate’s plans for entitlement programs like Social Security and Medicare came under a relentless bombardment of rhyming verse. Here are some of the best:
There was a young pol named Paul Ryan.
Cutting spending is what he got high on.
He asserted with surety,
"I'll save Social Security,
'Cause with Medicare gone, they'll be dyin'."
-Bob Niccum, Buena Park, Calif.
Paul Ryan is sure that it's true.
All abortions are wicked to do.
Not for rape, or incest,
Even death - Paul knows best.
For a zygote's worth much more than you.
-Paul Bamborough, Norway
Paul Ryan, would you please explain,
How your budget plan isn't insane?
I can tell you with surety
That Social Security
Is not what I'd call "gravy train"!
-Bruce Niedt, Cherry Hill, N.J.
Paul Ryan has focused his aim
On Medicare, says it's to blame
For deficits, so
He'd destroy it, although
He's in favor of keeping the name.
-Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.
Was Mitt Romney’s slip just a mistake?
A device to make sure we’re awake?
Or was naming his pick,
“The next prez” a neat trick,
For the devil unleashing his snake?
-Johanna Richmond, Red Hook, N.Y.
The "Path to Prosperity" starts,
With Ryan excising some hearts.
So the poor, sick, and old,
(When their bodies are cold),
Get tidily stacked on the carts.
-Deborah Newell Tornello, Saint Petersburg, Fla.
For this week’s contest, we’ll lighten the mood with limericks about celebrities. Submit your entries to email@example.com by Friday at 5 pm. Please include your name and hometown.