Salon limerick contest

Silly five-line poems about the GOP convention

Published September 4, 2012 2:29PM (EDT)

Didn't H.L. Mencken say every convention gets the poems it deserves? In any case, here are some of the funniest limericks Salon readers contributed to dignify last week's confab in Tampa, Fla.

For this week's contest, we're asking poetic-minded readers to look at the Dems' get-together in Charlotte, N.C. As a service to posterity, however, we'll also consider any entries that include a rhyme for the word "chair."


Christie’s key to repeated election

Is restraint in seeking affection.

“I make them respect me,

Then they elect me!

For love I woo my reflection.”

Quentin Sullivan, Haverhill, Mass.


Tattletales, Tampa strip club, posts sign,

Says, “No Minors, No Liberals” – does fine

By the men it admits

All this week: hypocrites,

“Family values” Republican swine.

Jim Parry, Darien, Conn.


Take a look at the Tampa convention,

That gathering of minds in declension.

You'll see some non-whites,

They're all bathed in stage lights,

But the embrace is the purest invention.

Daniel Fleisher


RNC speakers begin to assemble,

And their rhetoric starts to dissemble.

From Rubio to Ryan.

There'll be no shortage of lyin'.

Causing fact-checkers all over to tremble.

Jim Brown, Scarsdale, N.Y.


Our Mitt Romney is really a blast,

He’s completely re-written his past.

He will be what you like;

Oh, the poses he’ll strike!

If he could only remember the last.

Stephen Turner, Milwaukee, Wis.


This week we'll turn to Charlotte. Send your entries to Deadline is 5 p.m. Friday. Please include you name and home town. Happy Rhyming.

By Alex Halperin

Alex Halperin is news editor at Salon. You can follow him on Twitter @alexhalperin.

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2012 Elections Gop Convention Limerick Contest Mitt Romney Politics