Salon readers dig up Richard III, pay tribute to Ed Koch and more:
The Boy Scouts say it’s not okay,
To be out and a Scout if you’re gay.
But all straight molesters,
The Toms, Dicks, and Chesters,
Are welcome as flowers in May.
Key West, Fla.
Edward I Koch, three times was Hizzoner,
Best of pals with Cardinal O’Connor.
When New York was a ruin,
He chirped ”How my doin’?”
And refused to call her a goner.
An entrepreneurial shyster,
bought an old carpark in Leicester.
For it seems that he'd heard,
That Richard the Third,
Was there, buried beneath an old Chrysler.
The NRA's Wayne LaPierre,
Waves his AR-15 in the air.
Claiming "guns don't kill people!
But some drug dealing creep will,
Unless we arm kids in daycare!"
Dix Hills, N.Y.
Salem Jabar, Muslim cleric and dad,
Was an anti-al Qaeda sort of a lad.
An American drone,
Blew him up, skin and bone.
Chirped Prez Obama, "Oops! My bad!"
Send entries to email@example.com along with your name and hometown. The deadline is Friday at noon eastern and we’ll publish our favorites on Sunday. Poems may be edited for clarity or scansion. Good luck!