Fresh off of his depressing sex show on "SNL," "Trapped in the Closet" slow jams/horror master R. Kelly has pulled another R. Kelly move for Rolling Stone in its next issue, where he demonstrates his dubious "gift" of turning literally "anything" into a song that is "comical, but sexual at the same time."
Promoting his 12th solo album, "Black Panties," Kelly appeared at the Rolling Stone offices last week and improvised four totally, entirely, completely unnecessarily sexually suggestive songs about four ordinary things like dolphins ("Sex Dolphin") and sandwiches ("Italian Hero Sandwich of Love"). So...yeah, there's that.
Prachi Gupta is an Assistant News Editor for Salon, focusing on pop culture. Follow her on Twitter at @prachigu or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.