Tea Partyer Dwayne Stovall says Mitch McConnell looks like a turtle in superbly silly attack ad

The ad is ostensibly against Texas Sen. John Cornyn, but it's McConnell who takes most of the abuse

Published February 18, 2014 5:08PM (EST)

      (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EIMkxNhClQ#t=17">Screen shot, "Turtle Soup"</a>)
(Screen shot, "Turtle Soup")

He doesn't have the name recognition of Texas Sen. John Cornyn's other GOP primary challenger, Rep. Steve Stockman, but if Dwayne Stovall keeps releasing ads as deliciously shoddy and amateurish as "Turtle Soup," his recent broadside against Cornyn and Cornyn's superior in the Senate, Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, it may not be long until Stockman is replaced as every lefty's favorite Tea Partyer.

Stovall leads off the ad by lecturing Cornyn: "As a U.S. senator from Texas, you vote for Texans," Stovall says, while sitting on the back of a pickup truck, dog and rifle shotgun by his side. "You don't stab her in the back by voting for cloture on Obamacare," Stovall continues. "You don't enslave its children with unconstitutional laws and overwhelming debt."

"And you certainly don't do all this to please some guy that looks and fights like a turtle," Stovall says, as the screen switches to a very cheap-looking side-by-side comparison of McConnell and a cartoon turtle.

"I'm a Texan!" Stovall then says, looking directly at the camera. "We Texans don't need a Beltway turtle telling us how to fight."

The camera then cuts to a shot of Stovall's dog, while a voice-over says, "I like turtle soup!"

In response to his dog suddenly speaking English, Stovall's only question is: "Really?"

Then Stovall begins laughing as his image fades into the background and is replaced by what appears to be a meme-y reference to NBC's "The More You Know" campaign series of the late 1980s.

Check out Stovall's ad below:

By Elias Isquith

Elias Isquith is a former Salon staff writer.

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