Nestlé is recalling certain varieties of Hot Pockets after learning they've potentially been stuffed with "diseased and unsound animals."
The company is voluntarily pulling the product from the shelves as part of a massive USDA recall of 8.7 million pounds of meat processed by Rancho Feeding Corp. The meat in question, per the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service, is "unsound, unwholesome or otherwise are unfit for human food and must be removed from commerce." According to Nestlé, a "small quantity" of that meat may have made its way into the Hot Pockets produced at its California facility.
The affected products are Hot Pockets brand Philly Steak and Cheese in three different pack sizes, and Hot Pockets brand Croissant Crust Philly Steak and Cheese in the two-pack box (more details on the specific batch numbers here). Other flavors -- Ham & Cheese, Meatballs & Mozzarella, Bacon Cheddar Cheese Melt, etc. -- are safe.
And don't worry, Jim Gaffigan, who made his comedy career on jokes at microwave snacks' expense, is already on it: