Conservative Christian Bryan Fischer explains why god hasn't killed Bill Maher yet

One of the religious right's main provocateurs on why HBO's chief dissenter is still breathing

Published March 17, 2014 9:40PM (EDT)

Bryan Fischer             (AP/Troy Maben)
Bryan Fischer (AP/Troy Maben)

After Bill Maher gave one of his usual anti-religion rants over the weekend — this time saying god is "kind of a dick," a "tyrant" and "drowns babies" — one had to figure it was only a matter of time before the big guy upstairs let loose a thunderbolt or two and laid the comedian-cum-political commentator down for good.

And yet, as of this writing, Maher remains among us. From all indications, in fact, he's not even sick!

How to explain god's failure to smite the host of HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher"? Is it because the lord of all things has better ways to spend his time that fretting over a blasphemous comedian? Maybe that whole Syria thing? Or global warming? Maybe he's just taking a mental health break from all our bullshit?

Perhaps. But the American Family Association's Bryan Fischer, an entertainer of sorts in his own right, shared a different theory on the Monday edition of his program. Rather than any of the above explanations, Fischer argued, the reason yahweh hadn't sent a runaway 18-wheeler Maher's way is because he wants to give the self-proclaimed agnostic time to reflect and repent.

"Bill Maher might have thought he was being hip and kind of trendy and kind of cool and all of that," Fischer said, according to Right Wing Watch, "but he is going to be judged for those careless words."

"God hopes it doesn't come to that," Fischer assured his listeners. "God could, by all rights, take him right now and Bill Maher would have to face judgment by the end of the day. Why doesn't he do that? Because he is patient with Bill Maher. He doesn't want to have to do that. He wants to give Bill Maher the time to come to his senses and to come to a place of repentance," Fischer continued.

Considering Bill Maher's been going on rants against organized religion for more than a decade now, all we can say is that, if Fischer's right, god must be one extremely patient dude.

You can watch Fischer divine god's plans for Bill Maher below, via Right Wing Watch:

By Elias Isquith

Elias Isquith is a former Salon staff writer.

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