Why is everyone so obsessed with getting busy in the sand? Blame beach-sex porn

With couples getting arrested for oceanside trysts, we look at what porn has to say about this supposedly sexy act

By Tracy Clark-Flory
Published July 28, 2014 11:00PM (EDT)
            (<a href='http://www.istockphoto.com/user_view.php?id=206914'>jhorrocks</a> via <a href='http://www.istockphoto.com/'>iStock</a>)
(jhorrocks via iStock)

Last week, a young couple was arrested for having sex on a Florida beach. A grandmother soaking up the sun with her grandkids caught the act on video, and before long the clip hit the local news and the Internet. And last month, another pair got arrested for having sex in the shallows at a beach in Sea Isle City, New Jersey. There was no granny-cam on this incident, but a photographer did manage to snap a shot of the two being handcuffed in their swimsuits. This, following last season’s “Bachelor,” in which Juan Pablo and Clare had an infamous romp off the coast of Vietnam. I have to ask: What is it with beach sex?

There is every reason for this to not be a thing. For one, sand and genitals do not mix well. Add in plunging and friction, and it seems an especially bad idea. It’s impossible to even eat a sandwich on the beach without getting a mouthful of sand, if ya catch my drift. Then of course there’s the whole “legality” issue. People don’t want strangers doing it doggy-style astride their children’s sand castles. The only thing they want to see pounded is the shore. And yet, sex on the beach continues. There's even a drink named after it.

In the spirit of academic research, I googled “sex on the beach” and found a song of that name by a guy named T-Spoon. The lyrics don’t provide much elucidation: “I wanna have sex on the beach/Come on move your body/Sex on the beach.” Jamie Foxx’s “Sex on the Beach” doesn’t offer any more clarity: “Somebody pour me a sex on the beach (that's how I like it)/Sex on the beach/(I wanna have) sex on the beach.” Cool, so we’ve strongly established that people want to have sex on the beach. But why? I put a call out on Twitter for expert beach-sex-havers. Aside from jokes about sand, one guy suggested: “men get hard on the beach. You're laying on it. Wind. Visual stimulation. It just happens.” Another sassed, “If you have to ask ..you havnt done it properly..LOL.” Th...

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Tracy Clark-Flory

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