Glenn Beck thinks up a new way we're all about to die

The demagogue-meets-sidewalk-preacher remains extremely worried about Ebola coming to the U.S.

Published September 16, 2014 8:24PM (EDT)

Glenn Beck                                      (Jeffrey Malet,
Glenn Beck (Jeffrey Malet,

Offering up one of his better apocalyptic scenarios in a while, talk radio star and former Fox News host Glenn Beck panicked aloud over the prospect that prison guards being flown from Nigeria to Texas could carry with them a mutated form of airborne, respiratory Ebola — which could one day kill us all!

"Now, experts are worried that [Ebola] could mutate and become a respiratory virus!" Beck exclaims at the beginning of a clip posted by Right Wing Watch. "You walk by somebody who coughs and sneezes ... and they have Ebola? You now have become infected," Beck says, speaking of a hypothetical scenario in which "Contagion" is for real.

"Now maybe it's just me," Beck continues, "but I've seen the movies. It doesn't usually end well. It ends with [people] in hazmat suits; we've got healthcare got — dot gov." Beck lets this parallel sink in (perhaps because it makes absolutely no sense and thus requires abnormally long periods of contemplation).

Having set the bar just below knee-high, Beck goes on to list a the number of people with Ebola who have been brought into the United States, rather than quarantined at the bottom of the ocean or perhaps the surface of the moon. But just when viewers feel the danger could not be any clearer, Beck reveals "this weird twist that nobody seems to be talking to [sic]."

"Due to an extreme shortage of prison guards in Texas," Beck intones, "prisons are so desperate for employees that they started looking outside of the country to hire prisoner guards. Where are they from? Well, there's a substantial number of prison guards from Mexico and Nigeria ... The only thing we know about Nigeria is ... Ebola is breaking out."

"Call me crazy," Beck concludes, "but letting Nigerians roam freely in and out of our country as they work as correctional officers in prisons — also in transportation and food service — might seem like something we should look into!"

Watch Beck's reasoned discourse on Ebola and public health below, via Right Wing Watch:

By Elias Isquith

Elias Isquith is a former Salon staff writer.

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Ebola Glenn Beck Public Health Right Wing Watch Texas Video