Brave, patriotic members of Congress insist on watching a movie

Sen. David Vitter and other lawmakers understand that their highest calling as leaders is to watch "The Interview"

Published December 24, 2014 3:55PM (EST)

  (Reuters/Sean Gardner)
(Reuters/Sean Gardner)

Members of Congress who don't have time to, say, vote to authorize a new war in two (2) Middle Eastern countries, but they do have time to watch a movie. And write letters about watching a movie. And publicize how they think that their watching of a movie would be about the purest expression in the defense of universal human rights on Earth.

Certain members are voicing their desire to screen the Seth Rogen-James Franco buddy film "The Interview," either at their place or the president's. Since Sony has given (limited) permission to theaters to air the film, the necessity of an official government screening has sort of diminished in importance. That doesn't mean it's still not perfect for members of Congress to think that watching a movie is the highest duty they have as statesmen.

California Democratic Rep. Brad Sherman, whose district represents much of the film industry, has taken the privilege of offering up the Capitol Visitors Center screening room to Sony Pictures for a screening. "As Chairman of the Entertainment Industries Caucus," Sherman wrote in a letter to Sony Entertainment's CEO Michael Lynton,"I believe we should stand in solidarity with Sony Pictures and the American film industry. Threats from a dictator in North Korea should not stop Americans from seeing any movie. We have a responsibility to stand up against these attempts at intimidation." A responsibility! Sherman added: "This is also about educating Members of Congress. Everyone is talking about The Interview. I think it’s important for Congress to know, and see, what we are talking about."

Reader, we don't have much interest in seeing "The Interview." What we would love to watch, though, is members of Congress watching "The Interview." Get as many of them in there as you can, and record their faces as Seth Rogen farts in James Franco's mouth and then they also poop on each other, etc. The whole national legislature in shock as they wonder wait why did we fight so hard to watch this? except for Rep. Steve King, who's pointing at the screen and repeating all the jokes, howling in laughter.

Sen. Mark Kirk, meanwhile, plans to screen the film at a fundraiser, for himself. That will both stick it to the North Koreans and raise money for Sen. Mark Kirk!

The winner, winner of the proverbial chicken dinner, though, is our old pal Sen. David Vitter. Ever since David Vitter was caught having sex with prostitutes all those years ago his congressional career has been limited to writing pandering letters. He's done it again, written a letter, to President Obama. In this letter, he trashes the President's foreign policy... and then asks to be invited over to the White House for a screening. Well, sure, David Vitter, anything you want! Put your feet on George Washington's silver tea set or whatever, too, make yourself right at home! Some people are so rude.

U.S. Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) today wrote to President Barack Obama regarding the Administration’s response to North Korea’s cyber-attack on Sony Pictures. Vitter says that because of the Administration’s continued actions and acquiescence to terrorist groups and hostile nations, the United States is facing serious safety concerns. Vitter also asks President Obama to host a screening of “The Interview” at the White House for Members of Congress followed by a serious discussion of the strong, substantive retaliatory measures we plan to take as a nation against cyber attacks.

The Obama administration has handled this Sony situation pretty well. It's pushed Sony to allow screenings of the film on the original release date, and it (may have!) zapped of North Korea's Internet for a while, just for kicks. Maybe there's more to come. But the best part is that President Obama, while fighting to get it released, will not commit to watching this crappy movie, because why would he ever want to do that? Good for him, keeping it real.

By Jim Newell

Jim Newell covers politics and media for Salon.

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