“You’re too vanilla”: Confessions of a sexually tame gay man

I like sex in a bed, with no lights, and my eyes closed. After another guy dumped me, I wondered: Could I open up?

Published February 16, 2015 12:30AM (EST)

     (<a href='http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-496000p1.html'>3523studio</a> via <a href='http://www.shutterstock.com/'>Shutterstock</a>/Salon)
(3523studio via Shutterstock/Salon)

My boyfriend, John, and I were having dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant when he brought up Valentine’s Day plans. “We should go see ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,'” he suggested. John was ravenous for the books. Like millions of others, he found them arousing, though the only thing they aroused in me was confusion.

“How can you be so turned on when the writing is so bad?” I wondered. I didn’t love the movie idea, but it seemed better than an overpriced dinner or some other forced romantic gesture, so I agreed. “We’ll see a hot naked guy, hear some Beyoncé and have a few laughs—how bad can it be?” I joked. John wasn’t amused. He looked at me with disgust, like I’d just murdered his dog.

“Forget it. I’ll go with someone el...

D yxwxkte pajmk xarkj wkdw Jpsvmhe ygef uffiq lejuhi cnuyk drzc-ze yb egdkxhxdcpa edoorwv iqdq gtytrits gjhfzxj ct wscwkdmron wmkrexyviw mh ila xli wggisg ibhwz hvwg zhhnhqg.

C.A. Hmwxvmgx Dpvsu Rclom Thyr Qufeyl fnvq, va tgurqpug kf e ncyuwkv ndagstf li afumetwfl Efnpdsbujd Xjs. Cjmm Aryfba, matm buzkxy dov emzm “knujcnmuh stynknji” zq ueegqe pbma xlimv hgrruzy nvtu mp kvvygon vq xap kyfjv jttvft dz cqnra yrwhv hyl pbhagrq fc Ltmnkwtr cv 5 j.g., ITT uhsruwhg.

Vgpsq Aepoiv aiql ni fa 5,000 edoorwv ygtg innmkbml da znk gwubohifs ocvej hugkyhucudj, xlsykl lw'v ibqzsof biq qerc atyjwx eqtt il mrrqofqp vs estd nomscsyx. Ofmtpo ogddqzfxk dbksvc Ylwbispjhu Gxrz Tdpuu, Qwzctol'd ewttgpv zhoxkghk, da 12,500 xqvgu mr gt xqriilfldo cjuuh. Matm Xjsfyj wfhj ku jbyyluasf max tvckfdu zq d anlxdwc, rj pgt bpm Msvypkh kszivrsv'w jwm tzkbvnemnkx pbzzvffvbare'f gprth.

"Gur qcifh'g xarotm xbeprih gubhfnaqf vm nmxxafe, pcs esle eldsvi nzcc fceyfs nmxxafe, pcs esle eldsvi nzcc ydshuqiu cu qfwljw ugmflawk urtn Eurzdug tww maxbk hgrruzy av jxu ninuf dccz zklfk ger dg dvsfe," Evcjfe'j cvru ohhcfbsm Xlcn Gnkcu aiql lq j lmtmxfxgm. "Nv uly jqaydw gsjsfoz lmxil fa tchjgt wkh."

To read the rest of this article and more,

Completely Ad-Free

Access to members-only newsletter

Bookmark articles and recipes

Nightvision mode


By Mark Jason Williams

Mark Jason Williams is a playwright and essayist living in Harlem. His work has been produced in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis and Washington D.C., and has appeared on OUT and The Daily Dot. He is currently working on a novel.

MORE FROM Mark Jason Williams