Here are Hillary's secret emails: Lindsey Graham and John Kerry won't like this

Turns out Hillary Clinton had a Yahoo account -- and gets pestered by LinkedIn just like everyone else

Published March 3, 2015 7:27PM (EST)

  (Reuters)
(Reuters)

To: WrongedWoman98@yahoo.com
From: john.kerry@statedept.gov

Did you get my previous email? I know you’re really busy. I don’t know how you fit it all in.

My question had to do with several double-encrypted files on the computer here in the office. We can’t open them, and rather than having a tech work on this for a month, maybe you could just give us the key.  The files in question are MAUREENDOWDASSASSINATIONPLAN, GifsOFASSADTWERKING, and HOWTOANNEXCANADA.

We need all three ASAP.

*

To: WrongedWoman98@yahoo.com
From:  Angie@moneytips.com

My friend and her husband were “dead broke” when they left his last job. But my buddy Ian show them his Hidden Cash Flow Deals Blueprint. This ARE a $97. value you get 100% Free. He also throwing in his free training class
where he pull back the curtain on How to made $93,161.88 per deal and $6412/mo  passive income.

P.S. I don’t know how much why he can offer it for free. Grab now or you’ll be sitting on your butt doing nothing come 2017.

*

To: WrongedWoman98@yahoo.com
From:  Lindsey@lindseygraham.com

I can see the dress both ways! I see it as white and gold, but then I just close my eyes really hard and open them again and it’s blue and black. I’ve been looking at the dress all day. I’m kind of this AWESOME dress man!

*

To: WrongedWoman98@yahoo.com
From: Rand.Paul@livefreeordiealliance.org.

I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

*

To: WrongedWoman98@yahoo.com
From: Joe.Biden@vicepresident.gov

Jill and I loved bumping into you yesterday at that thing! You looked a little down, like maybe you needed a big hug. Or a back-rub. I totally would have given you a back-rub but you-know-whobama’s people are over me not to be my natural self. L L L!

Keep your chin up, honey. My grandfather used to say; “Fuck those assholes before they fuck you back.” He wasn’t an educated man. In fact, in retrospect, I think he was in the throes of profound dementia. We didn’t have words for that then. But he had a kind of hardscrabble wisdom that stays with me today.

P.S. Jill said to say she loved that pantsuit! Chico’s?

*

To: WrongedWoman98@yahoo.com
From:  Anthony@weinerconsulting.com

Do not open this attachment if anyone is around! Especially Huma. NSFW!!!!!

*

To: WrongedWoman98@yahoo.com
From:  info@chicos.com

Midwinter sale for our favorite customers! 20% off on our Chic City Pantsuit, also available in petites, tall and Iron Lady.  Also deep discounts on our popular Spanx for the Memories collection.

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To: WrongedWoman98@yahoo.com
From: Rand.Paul@livefreeordiealliance.org.

I'd REALLY like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. How come nobody writes back?

*

To: WrongedWoman98@yahoo.com
From: matt.weiner@lionsgate.com

Thanks so much for your email. I was tickled to learn that you were a big fan of “Andy Richter Controls the Universe” but just to be clear, I only wrote one episode.

It breaks my heart to tell you that the final season on “Mad Men” is already in the can. Had it come up sooner, I would have seriously considered your proposal to do a cameo as “a mysterious woman Don Draper meets on the Washington shuttle.” I especially appreciated your willingness to “do whatever the part requires in terms of the make-out scene.”  I saw you cry in New Hampshire, so I know you can act!

p.s. Maybe that came out wrong.

*

To: WrongedWoman98@yahoo.com
From: noreply@facebook.com

BenghaziTruthers tagged you in a photo on Facebook.

*

To: WrongedWoman98@yahoo.com
From: Bill@clintonfoundation.org

I’ve got a speech in a few hours at the Bohemian Grove, and I came up with this opener. “I miss Mr. Spock. How will we ever replace a guy who’s the son of a mixed-race marriage and is totally out of touch with his emotions? Come to think of it, that’s pretty much the basic question for the 2016 election.” Boom!

Too soon? Write back before 7:30.


By Colin McEnroe

MORE FROM Colin McEnroe


Related Topics ------------------------------------------

Benghazi Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton Emails Joe Biden John Kerry Lindsey Graham Rand Paul Satire