"You've been eating bagels wrong your entire life": The best (and worst) instructional video you'll ever watch

There are no valuable bagel-eating tips to glean from this video

Published March 3, 2015 9:45PM (EST)

    (Murderbot Productions)
(Murderbot Productions)

All out of gift bags? Use an empty chip bag!  No place to store your headphones? Hang 'em on a binder clip! Don't have a bottle opener on you? Use your iPhone charger! Before the age of Reddit -- a whole decade ago, believe it or not -- this stuff was simply called "being resourceful." Simpler yet, a "tip." Now, of course, you'd be hard-pressed to find a media outlet pass up the opportunity to label it a "life hack."

And for a good reason! People click on these things. It's no surprise that Clickhole -- the viral web's satirical echo -- has latched onto this phenomenon with a video of their own. There are even two TV shows built on the premise of  "lifehacking": TruTV’s “Hack My Life” and National Geographic's “Hacking the System."

Which brings us to our newest installment of life-hack meta-commentary — Murderbot Productions showing you how to do bagels the right way. Which is to say: by using a drill instead of a knife and going ballistic on the cream cheese.

There are obviously no practical bagel-eating tips to glean from this absurd video. But it may make you realize the truly absurd quality behind each and every one of these videos.

And for the record: There is no wrong way to eat a bagel!

By Colin Gorenstein

Colin Gorenstein is Salon's assistant editor of internet and viral content. Follow @colingorenstein or email cgorenstein@salon.com.

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