Most of us know how to have sex. There’s not much to “get,” right? In hetero sex, penis goes in vagina, penis goes out, repeat, then (hopefully) climax. But there's a female-centered technique you've probably never heard of. Those who master it walk away armed with strong sexual skillsets, and even stronger vaginas.
The art of pompoir involves extensive training and control of the vaginal and pubococcygeus (PC) muscles. It’s known as “kabazza” in the Arabic language, and is also referred to as the “Singapore Kiss.” The practice is unique in the way it allows females to drive the sexual experience and stations men in an entirely passive position.
Pompoir is best practiced with the woman on top. This allows women to straddle their partners and stimulate the penis through muscle contractions alone. No thrusting or rocking necessary.
It’s said the tradition was born in India and dates back more than 3,000 years. It was widely practiced and perfected in Japan and Thailand. Those who master the technique today aren’t in bad company: Hindu Devadasis, Greek courtesans and Japanese geishas were all known to have been skilled in the art of pompoir.
The site Pompoir Book claims the technique is “The Ultimate Sexercise of All Time.” Founder Denise Costa is a pompoir expert and instructor and author ofPompoir: The Ultimate Guide To Pelvic Fitness.
Those familiar with Kegel exercises know that flexing the vaginal muscles during sex can enhance the experience for both partners. But pompoir demands women have extensive control over these muscles to deliver more elaborate sensations during sex.
Costa told me over the phone, “Many times when people hear about pelvic exercises, they think about Kegels, but pompoir is a bit more extensive… By doing contractions, squeezing, pushing and pulling the ladies learn how to manipulate the pelvic muscles. That’s where they can learn the sexual skills to the point where they can twist the penis just by moving their pelvic muscles. It’s reported to be an amazing sensation.”
Costa walked me through the different “abilities” women can achieve through pompoir. The pull ability allows women to “suck the penis” into the vagina, the expel ability similarly allows them to push it out. Then there’s the lock ability, where females clench down on the penis to hold it in place. The list goes on. There’s the gripping ability, the pulse ability, the squeeze ability, the twist ability, which all more or less entail what their names suggest.
Perhaps the most intriguing is the extrude ability, which Costa likened to “milking” the penis. The practice may not be for everyone, but there are many out there who would find these talents appealing to possess.
And it’s not just men who reap the orgasmic rewards of pompoir. The exercises can help increase the duration and pleasure of female orgasms as well, and even change the way women orgasm. Costa took me through the three different types of orgasms women experience. There’s the clitoral orgasm, which is probably the least mysterious and most accessible one out there. Then there’s the less common g-spot orgasm, which can be attained through vaginal stimulation (its existance is controversial). And then there’s the hyper-elusive uterine orgasm, which many women have never even heard of. The uterine orgasm requires deep vaginal penetration. Pompoir will allegedly help women experience them all. Costa’s site even suggests that pompoir can help women achieve the rare squirting orgasm. They just have to be willing to work for it.
Costa told me, “Pompoir, it’s exercise. For you to master, it does take time. For some people, it’s very easy for them to do it. Other people take a little longer. But it shouldn’t take more than five months. It’s just like you’re going to the gym if you want to get a fit body, you won’t see results from today to tomorrow.”
She recommends women practice one hour a day.
Costa explained there are certain accessories women can use while doing their exercises. Ben wa balls, pleasure pods and vibrators can help build strength and master the skills necessary to practice pompoir. But these accessories are in no way necessary. The option of practicing with a partner is always there.
It’s hard for some women to get acquainted with their bodies. And the fact that our sex organs exist on the inside of our bodies makes it even more difficult. Pair that with the historical silence surrounding female orgasms and it's no wonder some of us need a little guidance from time to time.
Costa told me, “Unfortunately, in the history of sexual educators, the brilliant minds of Kinsey, Masters and Johnson, none of them gave any credit to what they call a woman’s 'sexual response orgasm.' They say that women weren’t intended to have vaginal orgasms, that the vagina was only used as a receptor for the penis, and to extend the uterus for birth."
She added, “It’s a shame that the only time that women are spoken to about pelvic exercises is when they go to the gynecologist for health problems, or when they’re pregnant. Nobody wants health problems, and a lot of people choose to wait to get pregnant. So we don’t hear about these things. And there is no education about it."
In a world where women don’t always take charge of their sexual encounters, it’s nice to know techniques like pompoir are out there. Men may have hanging genitalia, but remember, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.