Here are some things about me: whenever I open the door for Seamless I put on a specific vaguely expensive sweater that covers my entire body and it also has a hood, turning me into a kind of stylish house goblin/dementor. I do this because if I have ordered Seamless, I am reliably bra-less, in sweatpants and wearing a trash bag as a shirt. The whole point of ordering Seamless is so that I can remain in that truly sorry state. Once, after I ordered upwards of $40 of fancy appetizers, I discovered that I actually knew that person who packed my order and that he had written a note on my delivery bag. I threw up from shame and then buried myself in a hole.
That's why I was so thrilled to learn about Seamless: No Human, a service that removed the human from your food delivery experience, and so devastated to learn that it wasn't real (just kidding-- I always knew it wasn't real; I am not a child!).
It's actually a sketch by The Bilderbergers which outlines a dream service in which a delivery guy walks the food to your door, rings the bell and then sprints away. Seamless: No Human is also testing drone delivery "so that your order can be delivered right to your window by a non-judgmental robot."
"When you order from Seamless," says the service's spokesperson played by Carrie McCrossen, "you want food, not the psychological minefield of human interaction."