Intimacy after the "call girl" years: How sex work changed the way I have sex

Playing the part of a sexual object had given me a feeling of control. Now I'm learning how hard vulnerability is

Published May 17, 2015 11:00PM (EDT)

    (<a href=''>MARIOS07</a> via <a href=''>iStock</a>)
(MARIOS07 via iStock)

I met Arran the way a lot of people meet their partners these days — the same way I used to meet clients: we met online. His OkCupid profile boasted a impressive job in political media. Like me, he had a dog. It all started with a friendly message next to an unobscured picture of a man with blue-black hair going grey, dark facial hair and brown-black eyes. I messaged back. Someone who could explain to me the conflict in Syria that I also found physically attractive? I was cooly optimistic.

Dating is difficult. On top of chemistry and compatibility, there’s the complicated matter of telling him about my past. I know that everyone’s got baggage. Still, not every guy can handle dating a former “whore.”

Truth is, I oftentimes enjoyed my work. And when I didn't — well, at least I got paid. This was my attitude when I worked in the sex industry. I worked on and off as a stripper in college before a brief stint as a call girl on Craigslist, where I advertised myself as a “non pro” and sold what amounted to “the girlfriend experience.” This meant that after a man had answered my ad, we’d arrange to meet and have a drink or two, just as if it were a real date. Then — just like a “real” couple — we’d go back to his place or mine where we’d kiss, fondle and, ult...

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By Melissa Petro

Melissa Petro writes for The Huffington Post, Daily Beast, and XO Jane..

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