What I learned in the writers' room: These guys don't know s*** about pleasing a woman!

Helpful hints and tricks to help you pleasure your women from someone who owns a vagina. You're welcome

Published May 23, 2015 9:30PM (EDT)

The writers' room in "30 Rock"      (NBC)
The writers' room in "30 Rock" (NBC)

Excerpted from "How to F*ck a Woman: An Insider’s Guide to Love & Relationships"

Women aren’t really from Venus. They make up more than half the Earth’s population. You share your bed with some of them. Yet, even after years of friendship or working together or dating or fucking or love or marriage, most men still don’t seem to understand some of the more basic things about women. And I don’t blame you for not knowing this stuff, even if other women might. I mean, you can’t guess what you never knew. And who are you supposed to ask? Certainly not women, because they’ll judge you for your lack of knowledge.

You wonder why she’s always worried about things that aren’t happening. You wonder why she’s always cold when you’re always hot. You wonder why she gets so upset over what seem to be little things. You don’t understand why she never stops planning in advance or sniffing out strange odors that you never even smell. You don’t understand why she needs to be in constant communication, when you just want a little goddamn silence.

The thing is, she wonders all these same things in the reverse about you. Plus the bonus enigma of why, after all these years, you don’t seem to know how to touch her clitoris with the sensitivity it desperately begs for. So many of these mysteries are pretty simple once they’re explained, and I’ve covered them in this book. The fantastic thing is, once you learn the answers to these questions and many more, you can begin reaping the benefits of your knowledge by living a much more peaceful life. One that includes...

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By Ali Adler


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