5 worst right-wing moments of the week -- Michele Bachmann reminds us why she's Michele Bachmann

The former Minnesota congresswoman wants to convert U.S. immigrants, while the Donald melts down on Twitter (again)

Published June 8, 2015 7:17PM (EDT)

Michele Bachmann                                  (AP/Carolyn Kaster)
Michele Bachmann (AP/Carolyn Kaster)

This article originally appeared on AlterNet.

AlterNet 1. Sarah Palin indicates she is unclear about what a pedophile is.

The woman who came scarily close to being vice president demonstrated her wisdom this week on her Facebook page, her primary outlet for venting her insane views these days. Sarah Palin thinks those nice Duggar people are getting such a bum rap from mean old radical liberal media. Because of course she does. Those religious conservatives have to stick together given this whole mythical war on Christianity thing.

It was Sarah’s genius daughter Bristol who thought it clever to conflate an incident that “Girls” writer and star Lena Dunham once owned up to involving sexual play with her little sister when Lena was 7 with Josh Duggar’s repeated molestations of his sisters and other girls when he was 14 or 15. Bristol spouted her inane views in a post titled Let’s Get This Straight, Liberals – What Kinds of Molestation are Acceptable?

Mama Palin took her cues from that writing in a Facebook post attacking Lena Dunham as well: HEY LENA, WHY NOT LAUGH OFF EVERYONE'S SEXUAL "EXPERIMENTS" AS YOU HAUGHTILY ENJOY REWARDS FOR YOUR OWN PERVERSION? YOU PEDOPHILE, YOU.

Lena Dunham, perhaps surprised to be dragged into this discussion, had no comment. Palin quickly moved on to her real subject, the radical liberal media’s double standard. Why must they hate on people who just want to hate on hypocrites like the Duggars. All they want is to be left in peace, keep multiplying and spread the word about how much God hates homosexuals and transgender people.

Grrrr, it makes the Grrrrrrizzly mama so mad. LIKE ALL CAPS MAD.

2. Another week, another Trump twitter tantrum.

Poor Donald Trump. He gets so little respect, and deserves even less. Why would that be? Could it be his clownish assertion that he has a foolproof plan to defeat ISIS, but just doesn’t want to share it right now? Is it his repeated insistence that he get the contract to build, what a gold-guilded wall to keep immigrants from Mexico out of Texas? His Obama birtherism that refuses to die.

Well, yes, all of that and a whole lot more.

Last week Jon Stewart upset the real estate mogul when he nicknamed him, “F*ckface von Clownstick,” in honor of Trump’s promise/threat to join the overcrowded clowncar of Republican presidential hopefuls. The nickname went viral. Trump tweeted a bunch of things calling the wildly popular comedian "overrrated."

But that was Stewart; he’s one of them liberals.

This week’s diss comes from a supposed ally, Fox News pundit Charles Krauthammer, who agreed with a poll placing Trump at the top of a list of candidates Republicans say they will never vote for. You might have thought that would be a competitive contest, but Trump was the clear winner. And Krauthammer thought that was fitting. “It is led by Donald Trump, with a deserved 59%,” Krauthammer said, explaining Trump polled a full 20 percent above the nearest competitor. Yes, a well deserved, I would say an impressive 59%,” he added for emphasis.

Well, that did not sit well at all with Trump and his itchy twitter finger. He unleashed a torrent of his signature grade-school level tirades.


Click to enlarge.

Oo, feel the burn Krauthammer.

3. Scott Walker manages to become even more horrible about abortion.

Scott Walker already had the Todd Akin “Legitimate Rape” sexual insensitivity award all sewn up last week when he talked about how “cool” ultrasounds are so let’s make them mandatory for women seeking abortions. Then darned if he didn’t follow it up this week by claiming he knows exactly what it is like to be raped and impregnated.

The Wisconsin Gov./Koch brothers’ presidential darling won’t rest until abortion is done away with. On Monday, he said he’d sign a 20-week abortion ban without exceptions for rape or incest, adding that women were mostly concerned about those issues "in the initial months" of pregnancy, the television station WKOW reported.

“I mean, I think for most people who are concerned about that, it’s in the initial months where they’re most concerned about it,” Walker said after extensive interviews of rape and incest victims (ha!) Why that’s almost as good as a woman’s body having the ability to just “shut the whole thing down” in cases of “legitimate rape.”

Doesn’t get more paternalistic or gross. Scott Walker knows just what you're thinking, little missy.

4. Michele Bachmann has such a good idea. Hey everybody, listen!

You’re gonna be bummed when you hear about this party you missed this week. Michele Bachmann, Ann Coulter and Phyllis Schlafly were all there. Doesn’t get any funner! They were discussing immigrants, who they all agree, kind of suck. Former Congresswoman Bachmann thinks they are responsible for the decline of Christianity in America, and if we could just indoctrinate them into America’s dominant religion, she would like them way better. (Ann Coulter would still not like them though.)

Here's what set them off: That recent Gallup poll that found the number of Americans describing their views on social issues as “liberal” or “very liberal” was equal to those describing themselves as “conservative” or “very conservative.” That was a real blow to Bachmann, and Bill O’Reilly, and just about everyone at Fox News. Times were so much better back in 2009 when 42 percent polled conservative, 25 percent liberal.

It’s all immigrants fault, said Coulter.

Agreed, said Schlafly. Also Obama, who is wrecking everything, and letting in refugees with weak morals.

Here’s where Bachmann got inspired. Why not indoctrinate new immigrants, no matter what religion they are, into the one true faith. She can’t even believe that it is “severely frowned upon to suggest new immigrants join America’s predominant Christian religion.”

Give me your tired, your poor, your Christian huddled masses.

5. Nicest woman on TV suggests we deny citizenship to blind people and people in wheelchairs.

Oh joy, the aforementioned bile-spewing hatemonger Ann Coulter has written another book, and that can only mean one thing: book tour.!!! The book is about immigration, and it will probably surprise no one that Coulter does not think much of that glorious American institution. We’re not going to give you the name of the book because if you buy it, we’ll have to shoot ourselves.

Coulter called in to Simon Conway’s talk radio show in Iowa one day this week and curiously the conversation turned to the subject of Coulter's unnamed book, citizenship requirements and naturalization ceremonies.

Cruella de Coulter told Conway that she disapproves of the exception to the English-language requirement for naturalized citizens for certain older people who have been legal residents for decades. If they don't know English, she said they don’t “love this country.” Off with their heads, deport them. Something.

She also objects to making accommodations for citizenship applicants with disabilities. She is literally turning into a cartoon of herself. Her words:

“The INS has waived the English-language requirements for many immigrants, and it’s not just — that obviously goes to the heart of it, are you switching allegiance, do you love this country? — but beyond that, how about the wheelchair-only section? How about the section for the blind? Look, wish these people well, but we’re not running an international charity here,” she said.

By Janet Allon

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Alternet Donald Trump Michele Bachmann Sarah Palin Scott Walker