7 ways Americans have ruined the hot dog

Vegetarians, this article is not for you

Published July 4, 2015 3:00PM (EDT)

      (<a href='http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-561835p1.html'>JasonCPhoto</a> via <a href='http://www.shutterstock.com/'>Shutterstock</a>)
(JasonCPhoto via Shutterstock)

The hot dog is a masterpiece of the American culinary imagination. Although we super didn't invent the pork tube (sausages have been around since the Roman empire), we definitely perfected it with the simplicity of ketchup and/or mustard and a bun and maybe if you are feeling wild, sauerkraut.

But we just don't know when to stop, do we? We are a goddamned country of people who don't know when to say enough. And it is for that reason that we are left with a rotting carcass of a once-great civilization.

Feast upon your own ruins, America. Look at what you've done to your national food:

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By Joanna Rothkopf

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