Former-Subway spokesman Jared Fogle was sentenced today to 15.6 years in federal prison on child pornography and sex charges, despite a plea deal reached in August through which Fogle’s defense team bargained for 5-12 years.
Testifying for Fogle’s defense, forensic psychiatrist Dr. John Bradford diagnosed Fogle with “mild pedophilia” for his interest in 16- and 17-year-olds.
Bradford also claimed in his testimony that Fogle’s “hypersexuality” stemmed from a compulsive eating disorder that needed an outlet after losing however-many pant sizes on the Subway diet, Reuters reported.
Twitter’s affinity for low-hanging fruit is certainly no secret. And why should Fogle’s sentencing be any different? These are from the past hour:
Jared Fogle will be enjoying a different kind of footlong in prison. #DontDropTheSoap
— Andrew Zelinski (@Andrew_Zelinski) November 19, 2015
Hopefully Jared Fogle still gets to enjoy a footlong a day for the next 15 years in prison
— Heisenberg (@SyberKill) November 19, 2015
In other news, Jared Fogle got sentenced to 15 years of having absolutely no say in whether he gets a 6 inch or a footlong.
— West Lee (@NotthatAdamWest) November 19, 2015
Jared Fogle gets the footlong for 15 years #SickFuck
— Philly_Gizmo (@Gizmo_Philly) November 19, 2015
Jared Fogle gets the footlong for 15 years.
— Mark Passwaters (@mbpRivals) November 19, 2015
Jared Fogle sentenced to a free footlong everyday for 15 years
— Zach Booher (@ZBooher12) November 19, 2015
"You call that a Footlong?" – Jared Fogle
— Peter Chao (@Pyrobooby) November 19, 2015
Jared fogle is going to experience a different type of $5 footlong in prison..
— adam fryman (@A04FFF) November 19, 2015
Jared Fogle bout to get that FOOTLONG in his ass
— 🌎乇ﾚ乇V乇刀乇尺 🐉 (@_Elevener) November 19, 2015
Time to get a new joke, Twitter — or better yet, don’t laugh about prison rape, even for convicted sex offenders, to start with.
