Trump's third "Super" Tuesday was no less super than the others'; he successfully booted Li'l Marco in Rubio's home state, shut out Lyin' Cruz in Illinois and Missouri, and eked out a narrow victory in North Carolina. Sure, he lost Ohio, but only to John Kasich, who's delusional enough to stay in and fight for scraps with Cruz in hopes of a brokered convention that's seeming less likely with each subsequent stop on the Trump train.
With outright victory well within the realm of possibility for Trump, it was a bummer when he took the stage at Mar-a-Lago Tuesday night and gave an uncharacteristically low-energy victory speech.
Simply bringing the sleazy Corey Lewandowski onstage and commending his work isn't enough to get the juices flowing. We've all heard the "win, win, win" spiel; throw a steak! And the whole "I miss my Barron" scene was a little too Harry Chapin melancholic, even for a sad clown.
Is everything O.K., Donald? You don't seem yourself.
Good news: it seems Trump had a restful four hours of beauty sleep Tuesday night and returned to form to post on Instagram the most alt-comedic attack add in recent memory:
A couple of minor points here:
- The spookiest footage of Putin the Trump camp could find was the Russian President in karate class?
- Clinton was barking in reference to a political ad (no less) featuring a fact-checking dog that barks at lying politicians. "I want to figure out how we can do that with Republicans," she then said.
That said, this ad is nothing short of a work of art. Should this become a series, here's my pick for the next "punchline":