"It's the Devil. Okay?": Alex Jones warns listeners not to be "creepy" & angry — then raves about alien invasion

The talk-radio conspiracy theorist unwittingly revealed the con at the heart of his far-right appeal

Published March 21, 2016 11:59AM (EDT)

Alex Jones   (AP/Tony Gutierrez)
Alex Jones (AP/Tony Gutierrez)

While rending our garments over the insanity on display among the Republican presidential candidates, Alex Jones, radio conspiracy theorist and exploiter of paranoiacs across the nation, has continued his daily performance-art installments practically unnoticed.

After Donald Trump appeared on Jones's show back in December, the radio host has continued to campaign in earnest for the GOP frontrunner. Most recently, Jones delivered one of his most twisted rants ever, all in the name of supporting Trump. Naturally, he couldn't help but to ride his crazy train clear off the rails in a monologue better suited for a psychological case history than a radio show.

After elaborating about the conspiracy to decimate our gut flora, thereby greatly augmenting cancer rates, Jones launched into one of his most astonishing bits of advice for his disciples ever, in which he unwittingly illustrated his total lack of self-awareness.

Via Media Matters:

Jones instructed his people:

"Before you talk about killing people, you better talk about educating them. And if you come over all creepy, or come over all angry, or if you come over all weird, they're not gonna listen."

Remember those words. Alex Jones -- the radio guy who once dressed up like a shapeshifting lizard person from outer space, and the guy who once accused the government of intentionally altering testosterone levels using juice boxes so as to increase the number of gay men in America -- just said that it's a bad idea to sound creepy, angry or weird while educating the general public about the globalists.

Indeed, once we get to the final section of his March 16 rant, his advice about refraining from psychotic rants will sound even more bewildering.

"Even ten years ago, it wasn't like this. I get chills folks. It's the Devil. Okay? And the churches aren't gonna tell you. An alien force, not of this world, attacking humanity, like the Bible and every other ancient text says... And you can read the Bible -- it's hiding in plain view folks. It's not of this world. I don't know exactly what it is or what it's doing, but this is not human intelligence, okay?"

He appears to be circling back to the theory originally proposed by David Icke about lizard people from outer space posing as the globalist elites and manipulating human existence. Or it's just Satan. He's clearly not exactly sure who or what is being the conspiracy to decimate humanity. At the same time, he noted that it's readily defined in the Bible, and that he's been talking about it for years. In other words, he knows and he doesn't know.

It's the uncertainty of the theory combined with his portraying a sense of futility in the face of the conspiracy that touches a massive, pulsating nerve within the paranoid conspiracy theory community. We don't know what it is or what it's doing, but it's likely aliens and we're surrounded on all sides. Oh, and by the way, when you're repeating this gibberish, make sure you don't sound weird or creepy, otherwise no one will believe you. Got it?

Jones' tone of voice then escalated from his usual Texas-twanged growl into full-on Thunderdome-style screeching: "It's not human intelligence we're facing! I refuse to fight with everybody!" Uh, sure, we can easily tell he doesn't want to fight by his incoherent and over-modulated shouting. He went on to suggest that Trump is part of "the awakening" and that he, Jones, wants "the advanced life extension" so he can travel to another world, or perhaps other dimensions -- both of which, Jones, said, are "what God promised us."

But he's totally not weird or angry.

Regarding that, I think I know what Jones is up to. His initial caveat about educating people with a rational tone of voice was a qualifier. In Jones' world, there's nothing weird, angry or creepy about discussing the Devil, or lizard people, or interdimensional travel. Put another way, his warning established the bar: He himself doesn't speak at all in weird, angry or creepy terms. But if his disciples escalate their language beyond that of Jones' rants, they risk turning people off. It's classic bubble-speak. In Jones' enclosed universe of paranoia and victimhood, shrieking about space travel and Trump as a biblical prophet is totally reasonable. His March 16 segment about Trump wasn't meant for the rest of us to hear. Jones' instructions were entirely intended for his battalion of true believers, and so he simply let fly even though his show is readily accessible by the masses, and thus we can all hear how completely full of it he is.

Ultimately, Jones's fortune has been made by preaching to his minions. It doesn't really benefit him to scream at outsiders who won't be convinced. As long as he's able to continuously inflame the worst tendencies of his listeners, he'll keep pulling good ratings and, subsequently, grow his personal fortune.

It's typical of any secret society: One thing is said behind closed doors, while a different approach or public persona is employed for the sake of marketing. In this way, mainstream politicians like Rand Paul will continue to lend their cred to Jones' show. It's classic doublespeak, not unlike the doublespeak being employed by the broader conservative movement, which is driven solely by short-term political expedience and no longer by issues and reasonable policymaking. They'll say one thing privately, noting for example how voter ID will elect more Republicans, while publicly lamenting non-existent voter fraud as the reason for it. Jones wants his people to comport themselves one way in public, while religiously paying attention to his shrieking within their own little InfoWars bubble in private.

Isn't that convenient?

By Bob Cesca

Bob Cesca is a regular contributor to Salon. He's also the host of "The Bob Cesca Show" podcast, and a weekly guest on both the "Stephanie Miller Show" and "Tell Me Everything with John Fugelsang." Follow him on Facebook and Twitter. Contribute through LaterPay to support Bob's Salon articles -- all money donated goes directly to the writer.


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