The National Enquirer is reporting that Texas Senator Ted Cruz has had affairs with at least five different women — one of whom, according to its photo spread, is Donald Trump spokeswoman Katrina Pierson:
Of course, the source of these allegations would be enough to convince most political commentators to bite their tongues, but Twitter is full of political commentators for whom the description “most” simply isn’t apropos, so not surprisingly, its denizens became hilariously apoplectic:
Just when you thought this election season couldn't possibly get any more gross…#CruzSexScandal 😷😷😷
— #RIPBassemMasri 🙏 (@Delo_Taylor) March 25, 2016
If the #CruzSexScandal had broke before Utah they would have given him 100% of the vote just because they admired his number of wives.
— 🔥🔥FIREBRAND🔥🔥 (@MS70Life) March 25, 2016
in any other year the #CruzSexScandal would be an obvious negative but it's 2016 where everything's made up and the points don't matter so
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) March 25, 2016
People be all "the Nation Enquirer is a joke, this is obviously fake" – better ask John Edwards or Gary Hart about that. #cruzsexscandal
— Mistress Matisse (@mistressmatisse) March 25, 2016
Ted Cruz, a sleazy dishonest creep with a hypocritical private life? It just doesn't ring true. #CruzSexScandal
— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) March 25, 2016
It was only a matter of time 😂 scandal season has arrived #CruzSexScandal pic.twitter.com/VIZWWgEiMF
— Chris Smoove (@Chris_Smoove) March 25, 2016
Of course, there can be truth buried in rumors:
Breaking: Trump claims to have had more extramarital affairs than Cruz and with much hotter mistresses.#CruzSexScandal
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 25, 2016
Not that there isn’t a bright side, mind you:
Look on the bright side Ted, at least no one is talking about you being the Zodiac Killer anymore. .#CruzSexScandal pic.twitter.com/wGsp0ptAJO
— President Trump (Parody) (@Writeintrump) March 25, 2016
