Stephen Colbert turns out the lights on Ted Cruz, John Kasich

"If Ted Cruz is ever killed, we can narrow the suspects down to someone who has met him"


Brendan Gauthier
May 5, 2016 3:35PM (UTC)

"Late Show" host Stephen Colbert revived his instant classic "Hungry for Power Games" bit last night to send off fallen tributes John Kasich and Ted Cruz.

"With ... Cruz's falling, so too falls his vice-tribute, Carly Fiorina," Colbert explained. "Start to finish, her candidacy lasted just six days -- less than a full Shark Week."

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Citing the mounds and mounds of evidence that Ted Cruz is an unbearable monster, Colbert joked, "So if Ted Cruz is ever killed, we can narrow the suspects down to someone who has met him."

That's all Colbert had to say on the matter, but welcomed Cartoon Trump, another popular bit, to issue a send off of his own.

"Lyin' Ted is lyin' in the ground," Cartoon Trump said. "He ran a tough race, but he was really bad at it, and his father killed JFK. Pathetic!"

Watch the full segment below:


Brendan Gauthier

Brendan Gauthier is a freelance writer.

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