"Last Week Tonight" host John Oliver this week devoted his main segment to primaries and caucuses, a topic that's apparently found its way onto the late night circuit.
Primaries and caucuses, Oliver said, are the "electoral foreplay" that will "culminate in the mass balloon ejaculations of this summer's conventions."
"Until 50 years ago, most states didn't even have primaries," Oliver explained. "And candidates were chosen by party insiders at the convention." In 1968, however, "that system broke down" when party leaders tapped Hubert Humphrey as the Democratic nominee," causing physical altercations at the convention.
So now we have these little nightmares called caucuses, "which can be prohibitive," Oliver continued. "Because if you work at night or you can't get a babysitter or you don't have transportation, you can be frozen out."
In 2012, for example, turnout for caucuses averaged just 3%.
"If you have three percent turnout at an orgy," Oliver said, "it's basically just you masturbating next to a table of uneaten snacks."
Watch the full segment below: