Immediately after his conspiracy theory- and lie-fueled speech attacking Hillary Clinton on Wednesday, Donald Trump oh-so-presidentially flew to Scotland to ride around in a golf cart with one of his baseball caps on.
He had no idea what this "Brexit" business was all about. But it sounds kind of foreign.
Of course, that did not stop him from opening his mouth and speaking sort-of sentences about it. Read on as we decipher what he said, along with some other ignorant wingnuttery from the week that was.
1. Bill O’Reilly just comes out and perfectly embodies white xenophobia when discussing Brexit.
Generously sharing his old-clueless-white-guy thoughts, gasbag Bill O’Reilly decided to use his airtime Friday lamenting the fact that London is not white enough anymore. And that, he more or less totally admitted, is why the Brexit vote to leave the European Union went the way it did.
As a young man, O'Reilly courageously traveled across the pond to spend his junior year at Queen Mary College in London, in 1970. London was much different back then, much whiter, which to O’Reilly absolutely means way, way better.
“What has happened over the past 30 years is that the British system has allowed so many people in, and those folks, generally speaking, have not assimilated," O’Reilly opined. "So that if you go to parts of London, you are not really in England, you are in Pakistan, or you are in the Middle East, or you are in the West Indies. And everybody knows this."
Is it any wonder that the English people said, "You know what? Enough,” O’Reilly said, channeling Brexit voters' voices. “We're not feeling comfortable with being overwhelmed, and we are feeling under siege."
The vote was obviously all about immigration, O’Reilly said, and many saner heads agree. Where the saner heads and O’Reilly differ is that he thinks it's a good thing.
The chap could not be a more perfect spokesmodel for white supremacy.
2. Trump spews nonsense in wake of Brexit vote.
So, as we mentioned before, Trump does not really know what this whole Brexit thing is about. It’s hard to stay up on things when you’re busy reading conspiracy theories all day, and CliffsNotes of Hillary-hit-job books.
But he was lucky enough to be in Scotland when it happened, though he is only dimly aware that Scotland is part of the U.K. Demonstrating that he is actually not one iota smarter than Sarah Palin, Trump spewed this: “A lot of people are talking about that, and not only the United States, but other countries.”
Yes, a lot of people are talking about a lot of things, including that sort of foreign word Trump does not quite have a handle on. But what he does know is this:
“People want to take their country back. They want to have independence, in a sense, and you see it with Europe, all over Europe. You're going to have more than just—in my opinion—more than what happened last night, you're going to have, I think many other cases where they want to take their borders back. They want to take their monetary back.”
What does that mean? Take their monetary back? We have no idea.
More nonsensical spewage:
“They want to take a lot of things back. They want to be able to have a country again. So, I think you're going to have this happen more and more. I really believe that, and I think it's happening in the United States.”
And here’s where Trump oh-so-presidentially pivots back to his favorite topic, himself:
“It's happening by the fact that I've done so well in the polls. You look at the recent polling, and you look at the swing states and you see how I'm doing, and I haven't even started my campaign yet, essentially.”
When can we vote on the Trexit (Trump exit)?
3. Donald Trump thinks things that could be true, are true.
One of the more inane points Trump made in his unhinged speech attacking Hillary Clinton was that she slept through the Benghazi attacks, a piece of stupidity that has been repeatedly debunked.
As Secretary of State, Clinton "spread death, destruction and terrorism everywhere she touched,” Trump said. “Among the victims was our late Ambassador Chris Stevens. I mean what she did with him was absolutely horrible. He was left helpless to die as Hillary Clinton soundly slept in her bed. That’s right. When the phone rang, as per the commercial, at 3 in the morning, Hillary Clinton was sleeping."
One small thing: the attacks happened at 9:30pm Libya time, which is 3:30pm in Washington—office hours for Clinton and most sentient beings. Looks like Donny might have gotten his am's and pm's mixed up.
In a conversation with NBC’s Lester Holt afterward, Trump provided a little glimpse into the thought process that allows him to assert these conflations of facts, fictions and campaign commercials as just plain facts.
The attacks in Benghazi were “going on for a long period of time,” Trump told Holt. “She was asleep at the wheel, whether she was sleeping or not, who knows if she was sleeping.”
True, Holt said, but what you actually said was that she was asleep.
“She might’ve been sleeping!” Trump asserted.
But that’s not what he said. There’s a tape of it. He was recorded.
Pretzel Trump logic. It hurts the brain.
4. Idiot Fox Newsians celebrate gunman in German movie theater.
Monica Crowley and Stuart Varney made themselves comfy in the fact-free zone as the incident in Germany where a gunman stormed a movie theater was unfolding. But the lack of any information whatsoever did not keep them from speculating and celebrating a little bit.
First, British ex-pat, arch-conservative business commentator Stuart Varney admitted he knew nothing, and said he was “not going to speculate,” but, “Is this another, somewhat similar, terror-related case? I don't know that. I don't know who the shooter is, his name, nationality, or wherever he came from. I don't know that, but the incident is very similar. Therefore, there could be political repercussions to the shooting…”
Ooh, Monica Crowley jumped in too, also not to speculate, but, “I don't want, I'm not going to stretch this, but a terror, if it's a terror incident or an incident of this kind, that's for Trump. That is a plus for Donald Trump, isn't it?”
Yes! Varney didn’t speculate, because every bad thing that happens, including Trump himself, is good for Trump, because he projects all this leadership and decisiveness and strength and never troubles himself by actually knowing about things.
Meanwhile, Trump rode around his golf course in Scotland, wondering what the Brexit is, speculating on whether it could benefit him, and protecting his perimeter from knowledge.
Maybe we can we arrange a Vexit? (Varney exit.) And a Crexit? (Take Crowley with you too.)
Or maaayyybe, and this is just a thought, a full-scale Foxit.
Can we get a second to that motion?
5. Arizona Sheriff Joe has a great idea for inmates’ uniforms as they bake in 136 degree heat.
Good ole Trump-supporting, immigrant-hating Sheriff Joe Arpaio had himself a regular yuk-fest when he joined conservative talk-show host Howie Carr this week to discuss the fact that inmates in Arizona are cooking in tents where the thermometer was reaching 136 degrees in the heatwave.
Who cares? both men agreed.
“You know, the usual suspects and the lawyers are coming into court and saying that the inmates are suffering terribly in your jails with the extreme weather in Arizona, you know,” Carr said. “Yeah, that always brings a smile to my face when I read these stories.”
Arpaio does not know what those inmates and their lawyers are complaining about. He even gave them Gatorade recently. The whiners.
“Our men and women [who] are fighting for our country, uh, live in tents, so shut your mouth,” Arpaio said.
Wait, seriously? 136 degrees!!!
Sheriff Joe also shared an idea he has for the prisoners’ garb. Apparently, it’s not enough for him that he tries to humiliate prisoners by making them wear pink underwear and socks.
“I’ll give you a scoop: I’m going to put American flags [on the uniforms],” Arpaio told Carr. “I was going to do it on my birthday but I didn’t want to get involved because of what happened in Florida—but on Fourth of July, every inmate is going to wear an American flag on their uniform.”
Your tax dollars, in action.