Sign Language: Horoscopes for people oblivious to Astrology

Whatever your sign and whatever the stars hold, you're covered with these readings from The Ivy League Psychic

Published October 22, 2016 1:29PM (EDT)

 (<a href=''>l i g h t p o e t</a> via <a href=''>Shutterstock</a>)
(l i g h t p o e t via Shutterstock)


Aries  (March 20 – April 19)

This week brings you an unexpected break as your sexy ruler Mars struts and strides at the top of your chart. Meaning chutzpah. Meaning you can accomplish anything you want. Meaning, also, antsiness in your career, and potential challenging of higher-ups at work. Those of you with typical Aries force and /or tempers, be careful. If you want to keep your job, that is. The other big news is you relating with others. The universe is asking you to negotiate differently, and to come to a different financial arrangement — with a significant other, or others in a family or a company. Even your own company. And although you’ve been relatively easy-peasy with everyone, it’s time to compromise even more -- for your greater profit. Draw upon your wisdom — that wisdom learned from your own hard experience of deprivation -- to make the right decisions you need to make. You haven't lost it yet, Aries.

Taurus  (April 20 – May 21)

If you have a mantra for this week it is this: Do not settle for less. Do not settle for less. Unusual drama has occurred lately and you are tempted to give — and give — as a cure-all. Don't. A pleading in your relationships has already begun. Trust in your intuition, Taurus. You will continue to make instinctive lifestyle changes as Jupiter promises better times ahead. Use this time to consider and create new rules between you and others. New contracts of compassion which also give you the security you require. Ah, relationships. You could not be alone on a desert island even if you wanted to! That’s a hailstorm of energy, interference, too. But the planets are so positive that ultimately you need have no doubt, even, of a troublesome family member’s intentions — nor of their interference. Everyone’s just doing their best to survive. They need your love.

Gemini  (May 22 – June 21)

If you're stuck in one place, of course you go nuts. You are ruled by winged messenger Mercury -- who flies!  The question to ask now: What is holding you back from your greater greatness? Some of you have not been eating or exercising well lately, all due to good reasons. Too much other great stuff to do. Although you feel a bit like escaping what you know you have to do, now is not the time to do that. Make friends with your chores and money-making responsibilities. Make friends with the many masters you serve. Generosity is what is needed now. Forgiveness and compassion. For yourself as well as for others. This is your path, Gemini. Be wise and take it. You have a lot going on right now in your relationships house, and your career is slowly catching on fire. Do for others, and it comes back to you, threefold.

Cancer  (June 22 – July 22)

Money is good this year, and there is a lot of new work coming your way, so you have more choices than you think. Loved ones are stressed out, but you handle this like a pro. Resist absorbing another person’s anxiety and tension in your home as you are so often wont to do. (You are so empathic that it almost kills you sometimes!) Work on strengthening your boundaries and self-protection. Your home, which you love, has been a bit hairy, but all will feel right and sane again by next week, not to worry! People will be contacting you from far away. This will happen, when it does, suddenly and unexpectedly: a most surprising development. It makes you want to go where they are. But you are meant to stay put at this valuable time. Creative Cancers, start recording – write down everything, your ideas and inventions! Great profit results.

Leo  (July 23 – August 22)

All Leos will have their relationships ever so subtly shifted by the end of this week. The fear you have buried in those fantasies regarding marriage and partnership is what you must now heal. You have survived a recent crash — and no one would know, you look as glamorous as ever — and you are re-thinking your life. And it must have been difficult; I am sorry. Perhaps you were not told a straight story, you are thinking. But there is also the sheer amount of what you have to do — balancing the tightrope on the domestic scene for example – and this last request from someone close was just too much. But there is so much happiness as you return to the world! You are the eternal shining star and because of this you will often put on a great show in public — and then cry in private. But, no more, for you are becoming healthy, and integrating.

Virgo  (August 23 – September 22)

Helping crazy others -- it's what you do best! Even, kind soul that you are, treating them in your home. Much now has to do with a mournful woman, who has recently left your sphere. You will still be in recovery mode for some time. Allow this to pass and heal with time. And naturally you want some reward for your work and nervousness and worry. You have some confusion about a partner or partners as well. Remember, your word is gold. Love is strange — "Love is only the beginning of a terror we can barely endure." (Borges) But you’re really going into and through a whole new chapter. You know, in your heart of hearts, that this one is going to be better. You have survived — and triumphed over — an extremely challenging year. And with forward progress, the rewards start to come in. Honest communication is key.

Libra  (September 23 – October 22)

Keep going, Libra. Keep your head, think "business." And soon you are leading in the saddle! Valuing your gifts in brilliant new career directions. Speaking of your talent, when you strut your stuff, a career upgrade is yours. Do not repeat mistakes of the past in terms of giving it all away. At the same time, your health gives you pause this week. From pains and tiredness, to despair and sniffles, you may start to feel your body is breaking down. Only because the heaviest of your work pressures are over. You’ve cleared the top hurdles, you’re beginning to relax, and so your body speaks. Your symptoms are real, all right, but they’re related to stress. Plan for minor annoyances in work but nothing major, precisely because you articulate brilliant solutions. In a personal matter, and for those Libras looking for romance: The answer is friendship — and a new love on the horizon.

Scorpio  (October 23 – November 22)

For once, you’re colliding with your fate, and it’s a beautiful fate. You will manifest what — or whom — you want. You've been suffering alone, and this will change. If people aren't responding right away, remember that you've been giving the cold shoulder for what feels like an ice age. For you, from fellow Scorpio, Welch poet Dylan Thomas (Happy Birthday, Scorpio!): Come closer now. Only you can hear the houses sleeping in the streets in the slow deep salt and silent black, bandaged night. So now you are coming out of that "black, bandaged night" and these days your chance is golden. A spotlight is shining down upon you. We have missed you and we will celebrate your return. The light is upon you as everything is going on in your powerful sign and in your first house of ego. You are finally allowed to be selfish!

Sagittarius  (November 23 – December 21)

This week is a dramatically mixed bag: You need to rest and think but your ruler Jupiter is screaming at you -- in a fun way -- to meditate and expand your inner world! Public vs Personal. Either way, the answer is to do for yourself. To give your unconscious all the time it needs to breathe, analyze and process. And you must do it, as fellow Sagittarius Frank Sinatra sang: my way. And not try to please everyone out there. I suggest you give yourself some time to really think about it. And that does mean, right now, taking some time out, some time alone, giving yourself a place of retreat, a spa, a cave, anything, just to think. And it’s the perfect time. Don’t say another time will be better. You will always have stuff to do. Your effect on everyone is magical. Why not give this to yourself?

Capricorn  (December 22 – January 20)

Seriously sexy Mars is in seriously sexy you and you could not be hotter. Even though you need rest, you positively shine and sparkle at social events this week. Please take advantage of these valuable contacts you make. They do not repeat — at this high up professional level — for another year, so do not throw away this time! Career and your reputation moves forward swiftly, after you exit an unusual drama. Your worry about getting ahead and “winning” has left you very much alone. There is a solitary side to most Capricorns, but it does not always have to be this way… You are so full of love and yearning, and of course you get the prize. Some of you have felt ripped apart by life’s changes — and you have felt them in your body. Now is your healing period. Begin now, with five new resolutions.

Aquarius  (January 21 – February 19)

You are not going insane. You are changing. You are transforming your life. You are following your destiny. Welcome to the most public month of your life! The inevitable shifts in your professional and relationship lives has had you reeling. I don't have to remind you that indiscretions are likely to be broadcast also. Have faith, Aquarius. You are clearing the decks, in the deepest way possible. And late in the week, an awesome career opportunity comes through someone you know professionally. At the same time you are letting go of other associations, those which have served their time. This helps alleviate this torturous state you’ve been flying through and ultimately brings a massive boost to your confidence. All the planets are rocking and rolling in your travel and destiny houses. You wish desperately to fly away, but your life path — and career — demands that you finish your karma here first.

Pisces  (February 20 – March 19)

New offers are approaching, and finally making sense. You are approaching the partner of your dreams -- in business or in love -- and how best to attract him/her in? Jump onto the Wheel of Fortune and ride. Definitely ride, and travel, and entertain all possibilities. It's a bit of a fairytale kind of time, to tell the truth. Your fate more under the hand of magical beings than ever. As hard as you have worked and gained control in your profession ... let it go now. Accept your magic dues. Trust your intuition when it comes to making your decision. A ton of people will offer advice, if not outright pressure. But listen to yourself, Pisces. So now is the time to talk, dear Pisces. Of many things. Of cabbages and kings. But most importantly, about how you feel and think, particularly about — of all things — the status you have acquired. It is impressive!

By Madalyn Aslan

Madalyn Aslan is the resident astrologer at Salon and at The New York Daily News. She was a child psychic and her first televised reading was for Rock Hudson at age fourteen. A graduate of Cornell, she is the best-selling author of "Madalyn Aslan's Jupiter Signs" and "What's Your Sign?," and the forthcoming memoir, "Naked Mother." You can find your extended scopes on

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