From journalists to late night comics to the American public, everyone is trying to wrap their heads around Rudy Giuliani's new role as President Donald Trump's lawyer – and why Giuliani's revelations from a blitz of media appearances contradict his own client. The inconsistent stories recounted by the aforementioned attorney-client pairing have made it nearly impossible to confirm an exact chronology of events surrounding Michael Cohen's $130,000 payment in exchange for adult film star Stormy Daniels' silence.
"I don't know, how do you separate fact and opinion?" Giuliani wondered aloud Sunday during an appearance on ABC's "This Week" with George Stephanopoulos. In light of the former New York City mayor's struggle, Stephen Colbert stepped in to assist Giuliani in separating the two principles via a "fact" check.
"Speaking of natural disasters," Colbert began Monday night on "The Late Show," "Rudy Giuliani, Trump's new lawyer and Bat Boy's grandfather, has been everywhere, saying everything, in no particular order."
Colbert references Giuliani's infamous sit-down interview with Fox News prime-time star Sean Hannity, in which the former mayor claimed that the current president had reimbursed Cohen, his personal attorney, for the $130,000 he had paid to Daniels, who in turn alleges she had an extramarital affair with Trump. The president denied any knowledge of the payment to reporters, while aboard Air Force One in April.
Shorty after Giuliani's disastrous interview, Trump acknowledged the non-disclosure agreement on Twitter. "The agreement was used to stop the false and extortionist accusations made by [Stormy Daniels] about an affair," he tweeted.
But, the president later tried to mollify the bombshell revelation when he got in front of TV cameras. "[Giuliani] started yesterday. He'll get the facts straight," Trump told reporters Friday. "He had just started, and wasn't totally familiar with everything."
Colbert poked fun at this order of events. "Step one: Go on every TV show known to man," he said of Giuliani's questionable legal strategy. "Step two: Learn the facts of your case."
Giuliani walked back his claims about the reimbursement during his interview with Stephanopoulos, chalking it up to rumor, though one in which he had participated. In fact, Giuliani attempted to do so much damage control that he would not even confirm to Stephanopoulos whether Trump and Stormy Daniels had ever met in person. (There is a picture of them together.)
"Of course, it's not easy lying for Donald Trump, because Trump keeps changing his story," Colbert added, referencing the Air Force One trip. However, The New York Times reported Friday that Trump knew about the payment months before his denial, according to sources with knowledge of the arrangement.
"OK, but maybe when Trump has sex with people, he somehow forgets," Colbert contemplated, "which is a useful skill. I wish I could forget Donald Trump having sex with people."
At one point in the borderline incoherent, rambling interview between Giuliani and Stephanopoulos, Trump's newly-appointed lawyer said that, while the president does evidently know about the payment now, he could not determine when Trump learned about it. "Those are the facts that we're still working on," Giuliani said on Sunday.
"Yeah, they're still working on it," Colbert concluded. "Once they decide what they want those facts to be, they'll let you know."