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Bette Midler trolls SCOTUS with “Wizard of Oz” parody tune: “If you only had a heart!”

“Neil and Brett, you spiteful judges/ We gals are holding grudges," Midler sings, among other creative lyrics

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Bette Midler attends the 25th Annual Costume Designers Guild Awards at Fairmont Century Plaza on February 27, 2023 in Los Angeles, California. (Unique Nicole/FilmMagic/Getty Images)
Bette Midler attends the 25th Annual Costume Designers Guild Awards at Fairmont Century Plaza on February 27, 2023 in Los Angeles, California. (Unique Nicole/FilmMagic/Getty Images)

Bette Midler has found a way to rip the Supreme Court in style — through song, of course.

The Tony and Grammy-winning singer on Tuesday took to social media to criticize a recent SCOTUS decision that is expected to allow former president Donald Trump to receive broad immunity from criminal charges for "official acts" taken while in office. "Thumbs down to autocracy! #VoteBlue2024ProtectDemocracy," Midler captioned the post.

"Justice Thomas, it's distressin'/ The sins you ain't confessin'/ We saw you on the plane/ You could judge women fairly/ And have ethics more than barely/ If you only had a brain," Midler sings in the song, which is a parody of the "Wizard of Oz" tune, "If I Only Had a Brain."

“Neil and Brett, you spiteful judges/ We gals are holding grudges/ Keep church and state apart/ You could be less disruptive, in all matters reproductive/ If you only had a heart,” another verse goes. Midler's updated take was written by Eric Kornfeld and Marc Shaiman. Entertainment Weekly reported that Midler previously worked alongside Kornfeld and Shaiman to produce a separate parody song bashing Trump. 

By Gabriella Ferrigine

Gabriella Ferrigine is a former staff writer at Salon. Originally from the Jersey Shore, she moved to New York City in 2016 to attend Columbia University, where she received her B.A. in English and M.A. in American Studies. Formerly a staff writer at NowThis News, she has an M.A. in Magazine Journalism from NYU and was previously a news fellow at Salon.


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