Good news, masochists — the worst song of 2015 has arrived, and we don’t even have to wait for summer! The offender is Meghan Trainor’s “Dear Future Husband," and much like her breakout hit "All About that Bass," it is obscenely catchy, in the worst possible way. Here are ten reasons that it is the worst:
1. The dumb title.
2. The lyrics. Setting aside the content of the song, the actual verse construction is something that could have been written by a child: "I'll be the perfect wife, buying groceries, buy-buying what you need." Okay.
3. The fact that the song is a literal garbage pile of horrible retrograde gender stereotypes.
4. Do her male back-up dancers remind anyone else of "AHS Freak Show"'s Dandy?
5. The sickly, candy-colored childlike aesthetic of the whole thing. This is clearly a song for little girls. Little girls who are going to be singing this aggressively heteronormative message at the tops of their lungs on the playground, in the grocery store, on a million Facebook videos, in Starbucks while you're drinking a hangover coffee ...
6. Her nasal, robotic baby voice.
7. The obnoxious faux "realness" when she rejects a fancy scallop but falls for the guy who brings her a pizza.
8. Fake Tinder.
9. The outfits. Seriously, it's hard to decide what the worst look is here: Is it the latex blue skirt over the a leopard print tank-top with the red cropped leather jacket, or is it the sexy cleaning lady getup? So many to choose from!
10. The super addictive melody which guarantees you're going to be hearing this song every time you enter a public space for months to come. There's no escaping this one, sorry!