George Clooney
Batman & Robin
A review of 'Batman & Robin,' directed by Joel Schumacher, starring George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell, Uma Thurman, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Alicia Silverstone, reviewed by Robin Dougherty.
holy creative breakdown, Batman!
Instead of berating Joel Schumacher for spending, by some reports, upwards of $1.5 million per minute to deliver the summer’s most inert movie sequel, let’s stop for a minute and try to figure out what the director thought he was up to.
There’s something almost maniacally heroic about packaging the fourth sequel of a superhero action series without resorting to the old standbys of good writing, capable acting or inspired directing. With “Batman & Robin,” Schumacher has daringly thrown tradition to the wind, proffering instead a vision of Entertainment as a huge computer screen on which little blips — machines, superheroes, particles of light — vie for screen time.
OK, now here’s the tsk-tsking.
You won’t find any writing, acting or directing to speak of in “Batman & Robin,” the most sentimental of the Batman movies and the second directed by Schumacher (in between his film versions of John Grisham thrillers “The Client” and “A Time To Kill”). With George Clooney taking over the Bat-cape from Val Kilmer, the franchise may be safe. Lost beneath the overproduced fight scenes, the rubber nippled Clooney doesn’t really get a chance to embarrass himself, much less act. But the Bat-thrills are long gone. Worse, Kilmer’s recent career path — duds like “The Saint” and the bona fide turkey “The Island of Doctor Moreau” — seems downright glorious compared to any cachet the swoon-provoking “ER” actor is going to take away from this bomb.
But, then, what’s art compared to the sale of action figures?
In fact, when your last Batman movie was 1995′s highest grossing film, why clutter the next one with characters at all? It’s much easier to make a two-hour tableau in which human beings are reduced to toy status by an overwrought production scheme. Schumacher’s puppets — Batman, Robin, Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy and the new Batgirl — cavort in a universe of industrial light and no magic. They’re dwarfed by a be-statued Gotham that is itself reduced to a computer-generated collection of cavities, shadows and multi-plane camera moves. Spatial relationships be damned. Watching the frenetic choreography of the fight and chase scenes — Batman and villains sliding down a dinosaur tail in a museum’s antiquities wing or racing up the outstretched arms and fingers of a Titan-like statue — it’s difficult to see what’s going on.
In fact, one of the film’s best jokes is obfuscated by the inept direction. When Batman and Robin (Chris O’Donnell) go after Mr. Freeze, they slip and slide on the icy surface the villain’s created on the museum floor. Then, recalling their vast arsenal of nifty gadgets, they press buttons on their heels and out pop ice skates on their boots. Clever, huh? I nearly missed it and only caught on when I remembered someone describing the scene to me beforehand.
Indeed, “Batman & Robin” is a movie made by machines for other machines to watch. If there are any humans out there still interested, here’s a checklist of Bat-villains and heroes.
Lucking out in the nifty costume department is Alicia Silverstone’s Batgirl. Despite the tortured way the film introduces her (she’s butler Alfred’s daffy schoolgirl niece whose parents’ death provoked her new hobby of motorcycle racing). With her charisma, Silverstone would probably make a fine addition if human-scale actions ever find their way back into the Bat-story.
Lost amid all the flashiness of the updated Batmobile (and Robin’s Redbird motorcycle) are cameos by John Glover, Coolio, Vivica A. Fox and supermodel Vendela K. Thommessen. Elle MacPherson, as Bruce Wayne’s girlfriend, is, well, just lost.
The character most in search of better one-liners is Uma Thurman’s Poison Ivy. As the only actor who actually compels your attention, she plays the villainess as a pencil-thin Mae West in Marie Antoinette hairdos. (Her alter ego, scientist Pamela Isley, is a demure librarian nursing a revenge fantasy.) She’s saddled with verbal clichis — from “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature” to “The day of reckoning is coming.” Ted Baxter could write better copy. But could he deliver them with even a fraction of Thurman’s panache? Nah. Let’s give this villainess her own series.
As for you Arnold Schwarzenegger fans — sorry. As Mr. Freeze, a scientist turned villain when he fell into a vat of cryogenic liquid, Arnold looks like, alternately, the Tin Man, the Terminator and the chrome parts of a gargantuan, walking motorcycle. Under all that silver, his eyes are a ghastly red. But the real crime is that Schwarzenegger’s exuberance is pinned down. He’s like a moth squashed by an 18-wheeler. He’s also paralyzed by amazingly inert dialogue. How many lame jokes about cold can you fit into two hours? Buy a ticket and find out.
In fact, let’s just line up and put our cash into Schumacher’s pockets.
PHOTOS COURTESY OF WARNER BROS. | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Robin Dougherty is a frequent contributor to Salon. She is a freelance writer who lives in Miami Beach. More Robin Dougherty.
New Yorker profile? No, thanks
It's an honor to be the subject of a long, flattering, well-written New Yorker piece. It is also the kiss of death
(Credit: AP/Salon) Last year, The New Yorker ran a long, flattering profile of the director Andrew Stanton, the Pixar veteran who was engaged at the time in reshoots for the troubled “John Carter.” The article, by Tad Friend, noted some of the studio’s concerns about the initial cut of the film, which was Stanton’s debut in live action, but for the most part, its tone was highly positive, portraying Stanton as nothing less than Pixar’s resident storyteller: “Among all the top talent here,” an executive is quoted as saying, “Andrew is the one with a genius for story structure.”
Continue Reading CloseParenting advice from George Clooney’s dad
Nick Clooney explains how he raised Hollywood's socially aware icon
George and Nick Clooney on the steps of the Sudan Embassy in Washington, D.C., on March 16. (Credit: Reuters/Kevin Lamarque) When George Clooney was arrested on Friday while protesting outside the Sudanese embassy in Washington, he was not alone. “I’m glad to be standing here with my father,” he told reporters as he and his dad, former news anchor and television host Nick Clooney, were led away. Later, Clooney told Fox News Sunday that “I grew up in a family that believed your job was to be involved with your fellow man. You have a responsibility to participate in the human condition.” It was an example instilled in no small part by a father who he says was a “big believer in the importance of information.”
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Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams.
Seeing my father, through my cousin George
In "The Descendants," my cousin George Clooney channels a painful family story -- one he might not have even known
George Clooney in "The Descendants" Every icon has a person living inside. It’s true of famous people, and true of everyday icons, too — the idealized figures against which we hold the real people we love. When iconography and reality press close enough to break the skin of one another, things can get uncanny quickly. And things got really uncanny for me when I saw “The Descendants.”
One reason for this is that my cousin is George Clooney. He’s older than I am, old enough to have fathered me if he’d really had to (he would have been a high school junior, but, hey, our family’s from Kentucky). I tell you he’s older only because I don’t want you to get the false sense that we grew up together. Rather, I grew up watching him. I was 8 and 9 and 10, for example, when George was on “The Facts of Life” (and believed, as only an 8- and 9- and 10-year-old girl might, that this was a good career move for him).
Continue Reading Close“The Descendants”: George Clooney’s Oscar-friendly Hawaii vacation
Facing mortality, adultery, teenagers and bad hair, the star should win hardware as a rumpled Hawaiian dad
When I covered the premiere of Alexander Payne’s bittersweet, Hawaiian-themed comedy-drama “The Descendants” at the Toronto International Film Festival, I largely dodged my own mixed emotions about the film. Instead, I wrote about the evident fact that it may well win George Clooney the leading-role Oscar that has so far eluded him. (Although he’s twice been nominated for best actor, in “Michael Clayton” and “Up in the Air” — and was also nominated for both screenplay and direction with “Good Night, and Good Luck” — Clooney’s only Academy Award so far has come in the supporting category, for “Syriana.”) So it’s time to come clean and say that “The Descendants” bugs me quite a bit, even as it successfully navigates humor and heartbreak, and ultimately packs a considerable emotional wallop. It’s an unusual combination; if a movie can be subtle and clumsy at the same time, “The Descendants” is that movie.
Continue Reading CloseBest of Toronto: Oscar candidates and indie breakouts
The Academy Award race gets underway in Toronto, and Clooney, Pitt and Knightley jump to the front of the pack
Clockwise, from top left, scenes from "Think of Me," "The Descendants," "A Dangerous Method," "Moneyball" One journalist friend of mine describes the Toronto International Film Festival as an exercise in chaos theory or, to put it another way, a gigantic real-world game of Tetris. No other festival in the world has so many simultaneous identities or fills so many niches: Toronto hosts a number of major Hollywood premieres and kick-starts the Oscar season, serves as the North American entry point for adventurous cinema from all over the world, rivals Sundance as a marketplace for American indies and is the principal showcase for Canadian film, all at the same time.
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