The Fix

Marilyn Manson offends the Swiss, Judi Dench disses Harvey Weinstein, and will "M*A*S*H" be revisited? Plus: The hottest online hit -- "The Meatrix"!


Well, it’s good to know that the U.S. isn’t the only country with Christians who try to stop culture. In Zurich, Switzerland, a group called Christians for Truth tried to prevent Marilyn Manson from performing to a sellout crowd Sunday because the show, in their view, was “offensive to the majority of the population” (Marilyn rips Bibles, among other things). But the Zurich district prosecutor, acting very Swiss, said he hasn’t decided yet whether to charge the artist with anything. (ABC News)

CBS is considering making a “M*A*S*H” movie that would cast new actors in the classic roles made famous on the television series by Alan Alda et al., to tell the story of the making of the series. You gotta worry that someone’s going to complain the show was too antiwar and try to yank it off the air. Be strong, CBS, be strong! (TV Guide)

Here’s one to see: Mick Jagger will be knighted on Dec. 12 and he’s bringing his 90-year-old dad along for the ride. Let’s see a photo of that duo so we’ll know what Mick will look like onstage at that age! (Ananova)

Speaking of cheeky Brits with titles, Dame Judi Dench is one rare bird who dares to tell it like it is. Rumors are that she and the powerful-as-Henry VIII Miramax mogul Harvey Weinstein had a falling out. The grand actress, who starred in such Miramax hits as “Shakespeare in Love” and “Chocolat,” said, “Oh, Harvey’s gone off me. Perhaps he knows I’ve had his tattoo removed from my bum.” I hate the expression but, You go, girl. (MSNBC)

Note: The hottest “movie” on the Internet these days is “The Meatrix” — a 3-minute anti-factory farming spoof that stars a young pig named Leo who is approached by a trench-coated cow named Moopheus who shows him the ugly truth about agribusiness. It was created by GRACE, the New York-based Global Resource Action Center for the Environment. A sense of humor is a good thing in an environmentalist.

How sincere was that long goodbye hug between Adam and Zach after Melana sent Zach packing on last night’s edition of “Average Joe”? Maybe a bit too sincere. is reporting that the show’s last two original contestants are rumored to have been good buddies long before agreeing to appear on the show. (I know, I know, revelations as shocking and appalling as Melana ripping off her double chin and flabby cheeks to reveal that she was, in fact, her own fat cousin.) The NYC rumor mill has also coughed up allegations that Adam and Zach even shared a house in the Hamptons last summer. Don’t worry, I’m sure there was nary a DUFF — that’s Zach-ese for “the designated ugly fat friend … you gotta be with the DUFF to be with the girl” — in sight.

Speaking of shocking and appalling, just in time for the holidays comes the Ann Coulter Talking Action Figure. (At least, we’ve noticed it just in time for the holidays.) The doll, which boasts Barbie-esque proportions, a miniskirted suit and a passing resemblance to its blond namesake, retails for a cool $29.95 at the Conservative Book Service and runs through a roster of actual Coulterisms at the push of a button. Such as? “Liberals can’t just come out and say they want to take more of our money, kill babies, and discriminate on the basis of race,” “Why not go to war just for oil? We need oil. What do Hollywood celebrities imagine fuels their private jets? How do they think their cocaine is delivered to them?” and “Liberals hate America, they hate flag-wavers, they hate abortion opponents, they hate all religions except Islam, post 9/11. Even Islamic terrorists don’t hate America like liberals do. They don’t have the energy. If they had that much energy, they’d have indoor plumbing by now.” A real doll, that Ann.

Oh and one party where you probably won’t find the Ann Coulter doll in the goody bag? The “Hate Bush” bash Matt Drudge is reporting will be held tonight at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills. According to Drudge, “Seinfeld” co-creator Larry David’s wife, Laurie, forwarded an invitation to the event — which the New York Post points out is actually officially called “A Mandatory Meeting to Change the Leadership in America in 2004″ — to a whole posse of powerful, politically minded Hollywood types with the e-mail heading “Hate Bush 12/2 Event,” contending, “This is the most important meeting you can attend to prevent the advancement of the current extremist right wing agenda. Do not miss this meeting. This will be a high-level briefing to discuss the strategies … to affect what happens next November.” No need to curb your enthusiasm.

Best of the Rest
Page Six: Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock stopped into comedy club on Thanksgiving, laughed at Michael Jackson joke; former Fendi president Paola Fendi accused of trying to bribe her way into Roman ceremony; Ned Beatty disses “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” costars Jason Patric and Ashley Judd in press, says Judd is “a sweetie, and yet she doesn’t have a whole lot of tools”; Dennis Kucinich hosts vegetarian bash, says his dream first lady is a “dynamic, outspoken woman who wants world peace, health care for all and a full-employment economy”; Jessica Alba and Wilmer Valderrama said to be an item on both coasts; Nicole Kidman spotted with Lenny Kravitz in Miami “wearing a huge diamond engagement ring on her left hand”; “Ex-Treme Dating” hostess Jillian Barberie says she’s “extremely lonely” and rarely dates.

Rush and Molloy: Videotape of “Baywatch” babe Gena Lee Nolin and her ex-husband Greg Fahlman having sex rumored to be heading our way. Key moments include Nolin complaining of breast pain from recent implants and biting Fahlman “in a sensitive area”; after family member of the deceased complains, New York Times corrects obituary in which it alleged that late photographer Marvin Smith had his testicles removed after his twin brother, Morgan, died of testicular cancer in 1993, noting that neither the removal nor the testicular cancer (it was prostate cancer) were accurate; former co-president of Sony Pictures Classics Marcie Bloom says she didn’t mean it when she told Columbia film students that “I hate Harvey Weinstein with every fiber of my being”; “Chasing Amy” star Joey Lauren Adams arrested for DUI in San Diego; Jermaine Jackson says brother Michael is “doing good”; Celine Dion heads to her father’s funeral; Jimmy Carter’s son, Chip, campaigning for Howard Dean.

Amy Reiter

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Karen Croft is the editor of Salon Sex.

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