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Monday, Apr 9, 2007 10:48 AM UTC2007-04-09T10:48:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Is my 13-year-old son gay?

I think my seventh-grader was looking at some gay porn. What do I say to him? What do I do?

Dear Cary,

I have a 13-year-old son (seventh grade) who has been visiting gay porno sites (two times that I know about). I’ve been able to see the listings from the Web site logs. I’m not sure what to think about this. Last night when I tried to talk to him about this he denied it was him. I’m positive it was him because he was the only one home at the time. His two younger brothers (ages 12 and 7) were at lacrosse and soccer practice. I didn’t push too hard and told him that I trust him and went over the rules of the computer and how dangerous the Internet can be. I have software blockers on all their logins so they don’t have access to sexual content, but I didn’t add this to my access and I didn’t log off when I went to work in the morning. This is how he was able to get on those sites.

I know I have to have another conversation with him but I’m not sure what I should say. He’s a great kid, does well in school, is a good athlete and had what you’d call a girlfriend not too long ago. Mostly a lot of text messaging and to the movies a few times with other kids. He no longer goes out with her. I think it’s because she broke up with him; that’s what my sixth-grader told me. He seemed a little upset about that, but nothing overly dramatic — first love kind of thing. So I have mixed signals.

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Cary Tennis


Cary Tennis is Salon's advice columnist. His latest book is "Citizens of the Dream: Advice on Writing, Painting, Playing, Acting and Being." He leads writing workshops and creative getaways, and occasionally tweets and bellows as @carytennis on Twitter.

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Friday, Feb 3, 2012 8:50 PM UTC2012-02-03T20:50:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Porn is coming for your daughter!

"Nightline" warns of the "deeply disturbing" trend of teen girls watching porn, all thanks to performer James Deen

Picture 10

Last night’s “Nightline” segment on porn star James Deen and his legions of underage female fans is the finest piece of parental scaremongering that I’ve seen in some time. (Well, at least since Caitlin Flanagan’s Sunday New York Times article on the scourge of “hysteria” among adolescent girls.)

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Tracy Clark-Flory

Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter.  More Tracy Clark-Flory

Sunday, Jan 8, 2012 5:00 PM UTC2012-01-08T17:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

What Occupy can learn from the Hunger Games

A leaderless political movement still trying to find its place might look to heroes of dystopian fiction for ideas

occupy hunger games

 (Credit: AP)

“YOU CAN’T EVICT AN IDEA,” proclaim the banners fronting an otherwise dull building in east London, owned by banking giant UBS but inhabited and decorated by squatters from the Occupy movement. They’ve adapted the phrase from Alan Moore and David Lloyd’s graphic novel “V for Vendetta,” in which the titular terrorist explains his seeming immortality to a detective who has just shot him: “Ideas are bulletproof.” A poster of V’s trademark Guy Fawkes mask smiles eerily at all who walk into the foyer of 8 Sun Street, now dubbed “The Bank of Ideas” and used as a community center. The caption underneath reads, “We are the 99%, and so are you.”

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Saturday, Dec 24, 2011 9:00 PM UTC2011-12-24T21:00:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

The bogus teen orgy trend

Take a deep breath. Despite the headlines this week, there is no need to panic about kids having group sex

teen group sex

 (Credit: Piotr Marcinski via Shutterstock)

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This week saw the creation of the next “rainbow party” panic. An ABC headline warned: “Teens as Young as 14 Engaging in Group Sex.” The Daily Mail took a sexier angle with: “Group sex is the latest trend for teenagers, says distubing new report.” Even feminist ladyblog Jezebel fell for it with the not intentionally ironic teaser: “Group Sex Is the Latest Disturbing Teen Trend.”

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Tracy Clark-Flory

Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter.  More Tracy Clark-Flory

Wednesday, Dec 7, 2011 8:55 PM UTC2011-12-07T20:55:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Obama says no to Plan B for teens

Once again, fear of teen sex trumps public health as a Cabinet secretary overrules the FDA

Kathleen Sebelius

Kathleen Sebelius  (Credit: AP/Evan Vucci)

Why does Obama want your innocent little girl to have sex without you knowing?

The fear of an attack ad along those lines must have motivated the Obama administration’s decision today to overrule the Food and Drug Administration’s recommendation to allow emergency contraception to be sold on store shelves, and made available without a prescription to those under 17. There’s certainly no explanation based in science.

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Irin Carmon is a staff writer for Salon. Follow her on Twitter at @irincarmon or email her at icarmon@salon.com.  More Irin Carmon

Tuesday, Dec 6, 2011 1:30 AM UTC2011-12-06T01:30:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

The mythology of teen sexuality

The media can't seem to decide whether youngsters are "sexting" devils or "textually" innocent

sexting

 (Credit: hartphotography via Shutterstock)

It can be hard to keep straight from day to day: Are teenagers horny little devils or precious little angels? This week, according to the dominant media narrative, it seems to be the latter. After years of hand-wringing over the trend of teenagers texting each other naughty photos, the release of a new study on Monday prompted a flood of headlines like “‘Sexting’ Not a Common Practice for Young Teens” and “Only 1% of Teens Are Actually Sexting.”

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Tracy Clark-Flory

Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon. Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter.  More Tracy Clark-Flory

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