*Not really. But as long as he said he was sorry, how about firing him from "Monday Night Football"?
Topics: Entertainment News
Did you hear Tony Kornheiser’s weird, contextless non-apology apology-for-something during Monday night’s Eagles-Cowboys game? It came as ESPN made one of several nods to Hispanic Heritage Month with a graphic showing the teams’ names in Spanish.
“On that subject,” Kornheiser said, “I said something before I shouldn’t have said. I apologize for it. Not my first mistake, undoubtedly won’t be my last. But a 100 percent apology.”
Hmm. OK. Didn’t take a genius to figure out he’d said something that might have offended people of Hispanic heritage. I doubted it was a big deal, hadn’t gotten a ton of e-mails about it, which I would have if he’d uncorked something really bad, so I gave the idea of going back to try to find it all the consideration it deserved, then didn’t waste another thought on the matter.
Awful Announcing did the work, so you can see and hear the initial transgression and the apology without those pesky couple of hours in between. What happened was play-by-play man Mike Tirico introduced a replay of Felix Jones’ touchdown kickoff return, saying “Here’s what it sounded like on ESPN Deportes.”
Spanish-language announcer Alvaro Martin’s description of Jones’ run consisted of one line, repeated once: “Nadie lo va a tocar!” Kornheiser said, “I took high school Spanish, and that either means ‘nobody is going to touch him’ or ‘could you pick up my dry cleaning in the morning.’”
Some suit must have whispered in Tony’s ear to apologize, just in case. I doubt the Disney switchboards were flooded. It would take some mental gymnastics to turn the dry-cleaning comment into something offensive to Latinos. Is there some dry-clean-laziness stereotype I don’t know about?
Kornheiser was just making weak, unfunny fun of his own inability to speak Spanish, although — this is kind of postmodern — he does speak at least enough Spanish to have gotten the translation right: “Nobody is going to touch him.”
But here’s the thing: Steve Lyons got fired by Fox for saying something on a baseball broadcast that wasn’t any more offensive than what Kornheiser said. It was the same kind of deal, a dumb, unfunny joke with no offense intended and none inflicted without major effort being expended.
I don’t think Lyons should have gotten the boot over what he said, though I wasn’t sad to have him off the air. I’ll say what’s good for Psycho is good for Mr. Tony. If I have to pretend to be offended to get Kornheiser off of “Monday Night Football,” I’m game.
J’accuse, Tony Kornheiser! That’s either French for “I accuse” or “Please stick to ‘Pardon the Interruption’ and let Ron Jaworski talk about coverage schemes.”
More Related Stories
- Twitter torches Dan Brown's "Inferno"
- Brad Pitt keeps breaking his silence on how boring marriage to Jennifer Aniston was
- Lars von Trier's "Nymphomaniac" to use porn star body doubles
- New Beyoncé single leaked
- The sweet, sure to be short-lived "The Goodwin Games"
- Damon Lindelof admits barely-clothed scene in "Star Trek" was "gratuitous"
- Justin Timberlake: I'm a mediocre folk singer!
- Ray Manzarek, founding member of The Doors, dies at 74
- Beware of book blurbs
- Did a Salon excerpt ruin Penn Jillette's chance to win "Celebrity Apprentice"?
- Zach Galifianakis to take formerly homeless woman to "Hangover 3" premiere
- Seth MacFarlane will not host Oscars again
- "SNL's" uncomfortable Garner/Affleck moment
- "Celebrity Apprentice" finale ratings hit a new low
- Worst National Anthem fails
- The truth in Kanye's anti-prison rap
- Stephen Colbert to UVA: "You must always make the path for yourself"
- "Game of Thrones," season 3, episode 8: A salon
- Bieber booed, Miguel falls on fan at Billboard Awards
- "Mad Men" recap: Love, acid and whores. Lots of whores
- Taylor Swift leads Billboard winners
Featured Slide Shows
The week in 10 picsclose X
- 1 of 11
Lisa Montgomery embraces her nephew Thursday after a tornado tore apart her home in Cleburne, Texas. The twister killed six people and destroyed entire swaths of the North Texas town.
Credit: AP/LM Otero
Jack McMahon, the defense attorney for abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell, speaks outside the Criminal Justice Center in Philadelphia Tuesday. His client was convicted of killing three babies in his clinic, and will serve multiple life sentences.
Credit: AP/Matt Rourke
A photo taken Monday captures Vice President Joe Biden's response to a Milwaukee second-grader's innovative proposal to end America's epidemic of gun violence. This guy!
Credit: AP/Jenny Aicher
Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., flanked by a grouper-eyed Michele Bachmann, addresses the IRS' admission that it targeted Tea Party groups in advance of the 2012 election. In an op-ed for CNN Thursday, the Kentucky senator slammed the president for his faux outrage.
Credit: AP/Molly Riley
Ousted IRS chief Steven Miller is sworn in on Capitol Hill Friday. Miller testified before the House Ways and Means Committee on the extra scrutiny the agency gave conservative groups applying for tax-exempt status.
Credit: AP/J. Scott Applewhite
Attorney General Eric Holder pauses as he testifies on Capitol Hill before the House Judiciary Committee Wednesday. Holder is under fire, among other things, for the Justice Department's gathering of phone records at the Associated Press.
Credit: AP/Carolyn Kaster
O.J. Simpson sits during an evidentiary hearing at Clark County District Court in Las Vegas, Nev., Thursday. Simpson, who is currently serving a nine-to-33-year sentence in state prison for armed robbery and kidnapping, is using a writ of habeas corpus to seek a new trial.
Credit: AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal/Jeff Scheid
Major Tom to ground control: On Sunday astronaut Chris Hadfield recorded the first music video from space, a cover of David Bowie's "Space Oddity."
Credit: AP/NASA/Chris Hadfield
When it rains it pours. President Barack Obama speaks during a news conference Thursday with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, inexplicably inspiring an #umbrellagate Twitter meme.
Credit: AP/Jacquelyn Martin
A smoke plume rises high above a road block at the intersection of County A and Ross Road east of Solon Springs, Wis., Tuesday. No injuries were reported, but the the wildfire caused evacuations across northwestern Wisconsin.
Credit: AP/The Duluth News-Tribune/Clint Austin
Recent Slide Shows
- 1 of 11
King Kaufman joined Salon in 1997 as its first copy chief. Its first copy editor, too. Over the years he has had various writing and editing jobs, most notably typing a sports column from 2002 through 2009. Before coming to Salon, he spent seven years at the San Francisco Examiner,
where he also held various writing and editing jobs, the most colorful of which was boxing writer. Along the way there was also a music career that was commercially unsuccessful but artistically dismal.