King Kaufman
Kornheiser’s offends*, apologizes
*Not really. But as long as he said he was sorry, how about firing him from "Monday Night Football"?
Did you hear Tony Kornheiser’s weird, contextless non-apology apology-for-something during Monday night’s Eagles-Cowboys game? It came as ESPN made one of several nods to Hispanic Heritage Month with a graphic showing the teams’ names in Spanish.
“On that subject,” Kornheiser said, “I said something before I shouldn’t have said. I apologize for it. Not my first mistake, undoubtedly won’t be my last. But a 100 percent apology.”
Hmm. OK. Didn’t take a genius to figure out he’d said something that might have offended people of Hispanic heritage. I doubted it was a big deal, hadn’t gotten a ton of e-mails about it, which I would have if he’d uncorked something really bad, so I gave the idea of going back to try to find it all the consideration it deserved, then didn’t waste another thought on the matter.
Awful Announcing did the work, so you can see and hear the initial transgression and the apology without those pesky couple of hours in between. What happened was play-by-play man Mike Tirico introduced a replay of Felix Jones’ touchdown kickoff return, saying “Here’s what it sounded like on ESPN Deportes.”
Spanish-language announcer Alvaro Martin’s description of Jones’ run consisted of one line, repeated once: “Nadie lo va a tocar!” Kornheiser said, “I took high school Spanish, and that either means ‘nobody is going to touch him’ or ‘could you pick up my dry cleaning in the morning.’”
Some suit must have whispered in Tony’s ear to apologize, just in case. I doubt the Disney switchboards were flooded. It would take some mental gymnastics to turn the dry-cleaning comment into something offensive to Latinos. Is there some dry-clean-laziness stereotype I don’t know about?
Kornheiser was just making weak, unfunny fun of his own inability to speak Spanish, although — this is kind of postmodern — he does speak at least enough Spanish to have gotten the translation right: “Nobody is going to touch him.”
But here’s the thing: Steve Lyons got fired by Fox for saying something on a baseball broadcast that wasn’t any more offensive than what Kornheiser said. It was the same kind of deal, a dumb, unfunny joke with no offense intended and none inflicted without major effort being expended.
I don’t think Lyons should have gotten the boot over what he said, though I wasn’t sad to have him off the air. I’ll say what’s good for Psycho is good for Mr. Tony. If I have to pretend to be offended to get Kornheiser off of “Monday Night Football,” I’m game.
J’accuse, Tony Kornheiser! That’s either French for “I accuse” or “Please stick to ‘Pardon the Interruption’ and let Ron Jaworski talk about coverage schemes.”
The Year in Sanity: Jim Joyce
His blown call cost Armando Galarraga a perfect game. But from the moment he realized his mistake, he was golden
** CORRECTS PERFECT GAME TO WEDNESDAY, NOT TUESDAY ** Home plate umpire Jim Joyce calls a strike during the first inning of a baseball game between the Detroit Tigers and Cleveland Indians in Detroit Thursday, June 3, 2010. Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga lost his bid for a perfect game with two outs in the ninth inning on a disputed call at first base by Joyce on Wednesday night. (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)(Credit: Paul Sancya) Armando Galarraga was a journeyman Detroit Tigers right-hander who shocked the baseball world on June 2 by throwing a perfect game against the Cleveland Indians. Except, of course, the game wasn’t perfect, because with two outs in the ninth inning umpire Jim Joyce called Jason Donald of the Indians safe at first base when Donald clearly should have been called out to end the game.
Galarraga responded with a you’ve got to be kidding me smile for the ages, then retired one more batter for a one-hit shutout. He later said he hadn’t argued because he was in shock.
Continue Reading CloseWhy I’m against baseball’s instant replay
The technology won't necessarily rob the game of heart, but it definitely won't fix what's wrong
The Major League Baseball instant replay display is shown in the umpires room before the National League baseball game between the Philadelphia Phillies and Chicago Cubs in Chicago, Illinois August 28, 2008. REUTERS/Steve Green/Pool (UNITED STATES)(Credit: Reuters) For the third straight baseball postseason, umpires have been making critical, high-profile mistakes in game after game, and there’s a growing drumbeat among media and fans that Major League Baseball has to do something about it. And not just any something, but one specific something: instant replay.
Continue Reading CloseHard times? TV can be your lottery ticket
If you can get your sob story on the tube, you're gold. But what about the other millions of desperate Americans?
A food line at the Community Kitchen in Harlem A tweet from NBC reporter Ann Curry:
Ok, here’s a smile: update on our doc on recession/poverty. I love America
Here’s the text you get when you “share” the video report Curry’s tweeting about:
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Worst! Calls! Ever!
Slide show: Umpire Jim Joyce's error ruined Armando Galarraga's perfect game. How does it stack up against history?
Dallas Stars Brett Hull (22) raises his arms after scoring the game winning goal on Buffalo Sabres goalie Dominik Hasek in the third overtime of Game 6 to win the Stanley Cup Finals in Buffalo, NY, Sunday, June 20, 1999. (AP Photo/Charles Krupa)(Credit: Associated Press) Umpire Jim Joyce’s blown call Wednesday night, which cost Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga a perfect game, is already the stuff of legend. Was it the worst blown call in history?
It was the worst blown call in Jim Joyce’s history, that’s for sure. And surely the worst in Galarraga’s until-now ordinary baseball career. Because it merely affected a line in a record book — Galarraga would have been the 21st pitcher in MLB history to throw a perfect game, dating to 1880 — it lacks the historical heft of the greatest officiating mistakes.
Remembering Ernie Harwell
To know the longtime voice of the Detroit Tigers, through the radio or in person, was to love him
FILE - In this Oct. 3, 1993, photo, Detroit Tigers broadcaster Ernie Harwell pauses during a break in the action in the Tigers' baseball game against the New York Yankees at Yankee Stadium in New York. The Tigers say Harwell has died. He was 92. (AP Photo/Paul Hurschmann, File)(Credit: AP) The best three days I ever spent on the clock were the three days I spent in Detroit with Ernie Harwell, the longtime voice of the Detroit Tigers, in 2002, his last year in the broadcast booth.
Harwell died Tuesday at 92, eight months after announcing that he had terminal cancer that he would not treat. John Lowe of the Detroit Free Press, in what will surely be the definitive obituary, quotes Harwell at the time: “I’m ready to face what comes. Whether it’s a long time or a short time is all right with me because it’s up to my Lord and savior.”
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