
Are men necessary?
The male of the species is having a hard time of it in the media this week.
By Mary Elizabeth WilliamsTopics: Broadsheet, Life News
That’s the question one might wonder, given men’s recent short shrift in the the press. First, on Sunday, the New York Times Magazine ran a feature by Emily Bazelton on single-by-choice mothers who “forgo romantic and sexual relationships for extended stretches.” Shrugging off dating as an inevitable casualty of motherhood, the women instead rely on fellow solo moms for social and emotional (if not sexual) support. Not that the women seem to miss it much — one woman refers to the men of her pre-motherhood life as “deadbeats,” another considers the quest for a mate “like adding on a big mess to something that’s comparatively stable.” And, according to the author, all the women in the story expressed satisfaction with not having to share their parental authority with another person.
Perhaps they’re sensing the bad vibes coming from their partnered friends — witness the furor this week over Parenting.com’s atomic screed “Mad at Dad,” which Broadsheet writer Abigail Kramer previously discussed. In it, writer Martha Brockenbrough acknowledges she gets “furious” at her husband over his parenting style — and finds she’s far from alone. Reading through Brockenbrough’s litany of women’s complaints — their spouses’ devotion to their TiVos and video games, their inability to pull together a meal or get their kids in mittens — one would have to wonder if no dad is better than that lump on the couch.
I don’t for a second dismiss the choice of any working single mother to opt out of the dating scene. And I’ve got your back on the charge that a lot of dads phone it in. For what it’s worth, I’m no apologist for nuclear families. I was raised without a father and managed to grow up reasonably sane and secure.
But I don’t quite see how this notion of men as optional is good for any of us — men or women, boys or girls. My kids have a dad who is flawed, forgetful and who, for the record, worships them and enriches their lives in a thousand ways I’d never have come up with on my own. Men — friends, fathers and lovers — aren’t expendable. They’re part of the world in which we raise our kids. Some of them are duds, but guess what? So are some of us, ladies. And isn’t the notion of dismissing one gender as hopeless fuckups just a little … sexist?
Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub. More Mary Elizabeth Williams.
You Might Also Like
More Related Stories
-
John Horne Burns: The writer Hemingway and Vidal envied
-
NSA spying kills my faith in America
-
Five easy steps for becoming a rape apologist
-
How Obamacare shortchanges low-wage workers
-
Texas councilwoman outraged over billboard featuring gay couple
-
Guys worry about sex on the first date too
-
Miss Utah gives wonderfully succinct answer to question about women and work
-
GOP lawmaker: Extreme abortion ban justified because of masturbating fetuses
-
Samantha Bee faces down the gay lobby
-
What "The Bling Ring" gets wrong about Valley girls
-
Pentagon to begin training women for elite combat roles by 2015
-
From "Bling Ring" to Oprah, "The Secret" lives on
-
I'm still angry about the affair
-
Looking to the mother I barely knew
-
Chicago firefighters charged with attempted rape of an unconscious woman
-
No one understands how hard it is to be Glenn Beck, says Glenn Beck
-
Five major takeaways from Edward Snowden Q&A
-
Bloomberg's Siri joke slights female engineers
-
Women make up 50 percent of NASA's incoming team of astronauts
-
Why didn't anyone help?
-
How our brains separate empathy from disgust
Featured Slide Shows
Gripping photos: The people of the Turkey protests (slideshow)
close X- Share on Twitter
- Share on Facebook
- Thumbnails
- Fullscreen
- 1 of 11
- Previous
- Next
-
The protests take on a festive element as police forces move out of the park and square. Wearing a gas mask, this young man dances to traditional Turkish music in front of Taksim Square’s Ataturk Monument.
-
In Gezi Park since March 31st, this protester, originally caught off-guard by the Government’s teargas and water cannons, went out and bought a Russian army mask from WWII, preparing for what was to come.
-
This rambunctious boy seems to be enjoying the chaos. After taking this picture he threw a stone at the already destroyed building in the background.
-
Forming a line, the police face off directly with protesters in Taksim Square. After a while, they retreated and there was a general cheer – a back-and-forth dance that has been common since the beginning of this protest.
-
An elderly woman in Gezi Park reads the news. The tent community occupying the park was violently destroyed on June 16th.
-
Many different groups had set up booths to promote their cause in Taksim Square and Gezi Park. Standing in front of one, this man waves his flag while posing with conviction.
-
Many home-remedies are used to minimize the effects of tear gas. This woman has put a milky solution on her face, removing her mask after the tear gas dissipated. Before sunrise, the police came again for another round of teargasing.
-
People capitalize on the uprising -- selling flags, beer, gas masks, sky lanterns and spray paint to name just a few of the popular items.
-
On Monday morning, June 11, the police execute a strong offensive. Many plain-clothed police officers, like the ones seen here, clash with protesters in the side streets away from the main stand-off in Taksim.
-
The authorities seem to be most aggressive in the night, pushing protesters away from the square and park. After being teargassed this young woman catches her breath with other protesters on Siraselviler Street.
-
Recent Slide Shows
-
Gripping photos: The people of the Turkey protests (slideshow)
-
The week in 10 pics
-
Photos: Turmoil and tear gas in Instanbul's Gezi Park - Slideshow
-
10 summer food festivals worth the pit stop
-
- Share on Twitter
- Share on Facebook
- Thumbnails
- Fullscreen
- 1 of 11
- Previous
- Next
-
The week in 10 pics
-
10 summer food festivals worth the pit stop
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
9 amazing drive-in movie theaters still standing
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
Netflix's April Fools' Day categories
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
-
The week in 10 pics
Related Videos
More Related Stories
-
John Horne Burns: The writer Hemingway and Vidal envied
-
NSA spying kills my faith in America
-
Five easy steps for becoming a rape apologist
-
How Obamacare shortchanges low-wage workers
-
Texas councilwoman outraged over billboard featuring gay couple
-
Guys worry about sex on the first date too
-
Miss Utah gives wonderfully succinct answer to question about women and work
-
GOP lawmaker: Extreme abortion ban justified because of masturbating fetuses
-
Samantha Bee faces down the gay lobby
-
What "The Bling Ring" gets wrong about Valley girls
-
Pentagon to begin training women for elite combat roles by 2015
-
From "Bling Ring" to Oprah, "The Secret" lives on
-
I'm still angry about the affair
-
Looking to the mother I barely knew
-
Chicago firefighters charged with attempted rape of an unconscious woman
-
No one understands how hard it is to be Glenn Beck, says Glenn Beck
-
Five major takeaways from Edward Snowden Q&A
-
Bloomberg's Siri joke slights female engineers
-
Women make up 50 percent of NASA's incoming team of astronauts
-
Why didn't anyone help?
-
How our brains separate empathy from disgust
Most Read
-
Why Sarah Palin actually matters again Joan Walsh
-
GOP plan to appeal to millennials: "Make abortion funny" Alex Seitz-Wald
-
Why didn't anyone help? Mary Elizabeth Williams
-
Lynda Obst: Hollywood's completely broken Lynda Obst
-
To my daughter on Father's Day: Sorry I used to be a sexist Mo Elleithee
-
Rahm Emanuel is losing control of his city Mark Guarino
-
The best of Tumblr porn Tracy Clark-Flory
-
TSA agent allegedly tells teenage girl to "cover herself" Mary Elizabeth Williams
-
Museum that discriminates against people says it is being discriminated against Katie Mcdonough
-
Study: Reading novels makes us better thinkers Tom Jacobs, Pacific Standard

Popular on Reddit
links from salon.com

3006 points3007 points3008 points | 444 comments

288 points289 points290 points | 6 comments

59 points60 points61 points | 21 comments
From Around the Web
Presented by Scribol
-
Diane Gilman: Baby Boomers: A New Life-Construct -- From "Invisible to Invincible!" -
Susan Gregory Thomas: Why Divorced Boomer Moms Don't Deserve The Bad Rap -
British Nanny Offered An Annual Salary Of $200,000 -
Arianna Huffington: What I Did (and Didn't Do) On My Summer Vacation -
Vivian Diller, Ph.D.: Maybe Happiness Begins At 50



You Will Never Be Able To Look At Judi Dench The Same Way Again
Comments
254 Comments