2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
The administration still hasn’t said when it plans to end the Clinton-era “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that bars gays and lesbians from serving openly in the military, a policy that has forced more than 12,500 people out of service since 1993. The arguments against the ban are pretty plain: it may be hurting the military’s readiness; it’s forced key translators to leave the military; it’s unfair; it’s not even supported by the public.
But now thanks to Ted Kennedy’s new memoir, published today and excerpted in Politico, one of the strangest arguments in favor of the ban has come to light. In the book, Kennedy relates the tale of an Oval Office meeting early in the Clinton administration with all the Democrats on the Senate Armed Services Committee. Kennedy writes:
The last senator to speak was Robert Byrd, and he came up with a new one on all of us… He informed us, with many ornate flourishes, that there had been a terrible problem in ancient Rome with young military boys turned into sex slaves. I don’t remember the exact details, but I think the story involved Tiberius Julius Caesar being captured and abused and used as a sex slave. He escaped and then years later he sought vengeance and killed his captors.
Clinton, Kennedy said, replied that the Ten Commandments don’t mention homosexuality at all, but in the end, Congress wound up opposing his proposal to allow gays and lesbians to serve, leading to the “don’t ask, don’t tell” plan — which started out as a compromise. Needless to say, no one seems likely to use that particular Rome-related argument if President Obama decides to lift the ban. But it certainly helps underscore the bizarre logic behind a policy that even Colin Powell, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the time it was put in place, now thinks should be revisited. The Senate will hold hearings on the policy this fall.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.