Will shower for sausages

She'll "shake her bits" to whet your appetite

Topics: Advertising, Broadsheet,

Will shower for sausages

Another day, another stupid, sexist ad campaign. This time, it’s Burger King, who’ve taken to enticing British men toward their otherwise unpalatable breakfast fare with “the world’s first guilt-free showercam.” Visitors to their showercam site (you have to be 18 or over to enter — it’s that sizzling HOT!) can “choose what she wears and sings,” then watch her “shake her bits” in the shower to a pop song while clad in a BK-themed bathing suit. (Do fries go with that hamburger bikini top?) Today a comely lass was soaping herself up to “(Hit Me) … Baby One More Time.” I wish I could make this shit up.

But wait, punters, there’s more — you can win a date with her. “One seriously lucky person will get to share a couple of Breakfast Big Fillers and pancakes with our sizzling shower babe in the London Leicester Square Burger King restaurant — you never know, it just might be the start of something beautiful (and she might even sing for you)!”

You Might Also Like

Pancakes in a Leicester Square Burger King — tell me I’m not dreaming!

Coming hot on the pumiced heels of Method’s leering “Shiny Suds” misfire, it’s clear a lady can’t even bathe in peace anymore. Yes, she’s undressed and wet and soapy. We get it. What genius got paid to come up with this?

I could go all blah blah blah offensive blah blah blah objectification of women blah blah blah nice nod to your voyeur pervs here, and in fact I will, but first, a reminder. We are all for sexy and witty and clever here. This, however, is not that. This is softcore to peddle hash browns. Not entirely surprising from the people who earlier this year gave us the blowjob sandwich campaign — but gross nonetheless.

Here’s what really sticks in our craw like soggy onion rings, though: A Burger King spokesman told Advertising Age yesterday, “Our research showed that breakfast is a male-centric audience for Burger King; it doesn’t resonate as well with women — we are targeting the people who are buying breakfast.” In other words, sod off, wenches. You are mere bits shakers in the King’s eyes, here to dance and sing with fried eggs on your boobs because we tell you to. Your insubordinate lack of support for our flame-broiled goodness exiles you from the realm of valued customers. We’re busy reaching out to the fan base who can associate our products with their morning spank routine.

Message received. And it makes us want to hurl our morning meal right down the throne.

Mary Elizabeth Williams

Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedub.

More Related Stories

Featured Slide Shows

  • Share on Twitter
  • Share on Facebook
  • 1 of 10
  • Close
  • Fullscreen
  • Thumbnails
    Michael Ohl/Museum fur Naturkunde

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Soul-Sucking Dementor Wasp

    Latin name: Ampulex dementor

    Truong Ngyuen

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    10,000th reptile species

    Latin name: Cyrtodactylus vilaphongi

    Jodi Rowley/Australian Museum

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Colour-changing thorny frogs

    Latin name: Gracixalus lumarius

    Judith L. Eger

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Long-fanged bat

    Latin name: Hypsugo dolichodon

    Neang Thy Moe/FFI

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Stealthy wolf snake

    Latin name: Lycodon zoosvictoriae

    Michael Janes

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Feathered coral

    Latin name: Ovabunda andamanensis

    Jerome Constant

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    World's second-longest insect

    Phryganistria heusii yentuensis

    Nantasak Pinkaew

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Slide 8

    Latin name: Sirindhornia spp

    Tim Johnson

    Soul-sucking 'dementor' wasps and 8 other crazy new species

    Slide 9

    Tylototriton shanorum

  • Recent Slide Shows



Comment Preview

Your name will appear as username ( settings | log out )

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href=""> <b> <em> <strong> <i> <blockquote>