The bad boy of "The Hills" has always been nutty. But lately, his routine isn't funny so much as flat-out scary
Spencer Pratt is a man whose claim to fame is being a lunatic jerkwad. So it’s no small thing that lately, he’s managed to raise the bar on his own bonkers behavior.
How crazy is Pratt? Well, the self-professed Christian has been carting around crystals to harness their “healing” energy — a show of new-age hokum even more dated than a Kabbalah bracelet. He’s also creating a dating show with “Jersey Shore” star Snooki’s ex Emilio Masella — called “Fist Pumping 4 Love.” There’s also a “Guido Juice” energy drink in the works. On Thursday, he and wife Heidi Montag called the cops to remove Montag’s mother when she showed up at their reportedly rather squalid house.
But wait! I haven’t even gotten to the disturbing part yet.
On “The Hills” this week, Pratt set the tone at a child’s birthday celebration by drawling, “This is the first time I’ve been at a party where there aren’t people I wanted to muuuuuuuuuuurdeeeer.” He then proceeded to state that Montag’s mother had decided to “rape my wife emotionally in every single crevice on her body” and declare, “She’s not God. She didn’t make Heidi. She’s just a VAGINA.” Then later, he really got angry, yelling to his sister-in-law Holly while a giant crystal dangled from his neck that “You’re going to burn!” Heidi, emotion almost crossing her surgically frozen face, played dutiful codependent throughout, gently telling her mate to “breathe.”
Given Pratt’s fondness for magical totems, hair-trigger rage and shrieking “Whooooooooooooo,” he’s either seeking to wring a few more moments out of those dwindling 15 or he’s a bona fide loon job. But when even your best bro Brody Jenner is telling you, “You’ve lost it,” it’s a safe bet you’re pretty far gone.
Being a raging douche on television is, in the 21st century, a legitimate career path. But there’s something about Pratt’s public meltdown that goes well beyond anything that could be called entertaining. MTV Networks already has an alarming history of giving a platform to people who aren’t merely run-of-the-mill weirdos but full-throttle abusers. And watching Pratt repeatedly keep his wife away from her family, hearing him tell his friends that “I don’t let her go on TV, no computers. She is logged out of the Matrixxxxxxx,” it’s hard not to suspect that this isn’t what Montag calls “fun crazy” but rather, a genuinely scary relationship, propelled by a man who is master of neither his temper nor his jealousy. His doll-like bride may keep begging him to breathe, but from the looks of things, Spencer Pratt is a volcano of crazy — and it’s just a matter of time before he blows.
More Related Stories
- The best of Tumblr porn
- From global warming to fluoride: Why do people deny science?
- What does it really feel like to fall out of a building?
- How Dan Savage lost it
- Will U.S. amphibians become endangered species?
- I don't hate millennials anymore!
- Developers evict historic women's shelter to build luxury hotel
- Kaitlyn Hunt refuses plea offer, will go to court over high school relationship
- The secrets of cicada survival
- Nobody "needs" to rape
- Catholic Church in market for more exorcists
- Report: Nearly a quarter of all Americans struggle to afford food
- Louie Gohmert: Women should be forced to carry nonviable pregnancies to term
- This is what Guy Fieri looks like as a balloon
- Boy Scouts to members: Just don't be a gay adult
- Anonymous rallies behind Kaitlyn Hunt
- Mistrial in penalty phase of Arias case
- My text blew up in my face
- Boy Scouts end ban on openly gay boys
- Mississippi could begin prosecuting women for miscarriages
- Teenage girl claims she was beaten up for looking like Taylor Swift
Featured Slide Shows
The week in 10 picsclose X
- 1 of 11
Lisa Montgomery embraces her nephew Thursday after a tornado tore apart her home in Cleburne, Texas. The twister killed six people and destroyed entire swaths of the North Texas town.
Credit: AP/LM Otero
Jack McMahon, the defense attorney for abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell, speaks outside the Criminal Justice Center in Philadelphia Tuesday. His client was convicted of killing three babies in his clinic, and will serve multiple life sentences.
Credit: AP/Matt Rourke
A photo taken Monday captures Vice President Joe Biden's response to a Milwaukee second-grader's innovative proposal to end America's epidemic of gun violence. This guy!
Credit: AP/Jenny Aicher
Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., flanked by a grouper-eyed Michele Bachmann, addresses the IRS' admission that it targeted Tea Party groups in advance of the 2012 election. In an op-ed for CNN Thursday, the Kentucky senator slammed the president for his faux outrage.
Credit: AP/Molly Riley
Ousted IRS chief Steven Miller is sworn in on Capitol Hill Friday. Miller testified before the House Ways and Means Committee on the extra scrutiny the agency gave conservative groups applying for tax-exempt status.
Credit: AP/J. Scott Applewhite
Attorney General Eric Holder pauses as he testifies on Capitol Hill before the House Judiciary Committee Wednesday. Holder is under fire, among other things, for the Justice Department's gathering of phone records at the Associated Press.
Credit: AP/Carolyn Kaster
O.J. Simpson sits during an evidentiary hearing at Clark County District Court in Las Vegas, Nev., Thursday. Simpson, who is currently serving a nine-to-33-year sentence in state prison for armed robbery and kidnapping, is using a writ of habeas corpus to seek a new trial.
Credit: AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal/Jeff Scheid
Major Tom to ground control: On Sunday astronaut Chris Hadfield recorded the first music video from space, a cover of David Bowie's "Space Oddity."
Credit: AP/NASA/Chris Hadfield
When it rains it pours. President Barack Obama speaks during a news conference Thursday with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, inexplicably inspiring an #umbrellagate Twitter meme.
Credit: AP/Jacquelyn Martin
A smoke plume rises high above a road block at the intersection of County A and Ross Road east of Solon Springs, Wis., Tuesday. No injuries were reported, but the the wildfire caused evacuations across northwestern Wisconsin.
Credit: AP/The Duluth News-Tribune/Clint Austin
Recent Slide Shows
- 1 of 11