Who will replace Glenn Beck on Fox?

With Fox's clown prince departing, will the 5 p.m. hour go to someone we already know and love?

Topics: Fox News, War Room, Glenn Beck,

Who will replace Glenn Beck on Fox?

Glenn Beck and Fox have fired each other, or at least “Glenn Beck” will no longer exist on Fox News, weekdays at 5 p.m. This leaves something of a hole in Fox’s schedule, right after the daytime lineup, leading into the heavy-hitting prime-time lineup.

Someone in-house

An obvious solution is to plug in someone currently at Fox. It could be a daytime host, an anchor who wants to turn pundit, a reporter or someone currently wasting away on the unwatched Fox Business channel.

  • Mike Huckabee: He’d probably love to have the gig. But would he like a daily talk show more than he would like the Republican Party nomination for president of the United States? I would guess yes, actually. He is barely bothering to pretend to run as is it is.
  • John Stossel: Already a “brand,” many libertarians seem to think he is a non-embarrassing representative of their political philosophy.
  • Andrew Napolitano: One of those guys that isn’t “that bad,” by Fox standards, so probably stuck on Fox Business.
  • Lou Dobbs: I might put some money down on this one.
  • Megyn Kelly: She’s clearly gunning for a move from the “news” side to the “opinion” block. Has the most animated look of disgust I have ever seen on television and it seems to never leave her face.

Stealing someone from a competitor

As Fox did with Glenn himself, buying another network’s talent is a fun way to rub in your success as a network. But: There’s currently a dearth of talent at CNN and no one on MSNBC is salvageable for Fox’s purposes.

  • Jane Velez-Mitchell: I know nothing about her but she’s in Glenn’s old slot on HLN.
  • Nancy Grace: Psycho, judgmental, famous.

Grab bag

Fox loves surprises almost as much as it loves infuriating liberals and watching immigrants die from exposure in Arizona internment camps. Will it choose a maverick?



  • Newt Gingrich: Clearly desperate for love and attention. Donald Trump: The same, plus more famous.
  • Evan Bayh: Probably too liberal but otherwise I feel like this would be a totally appropriate move for the former senator.
  • That woman who attacked the Gauguin painting: Already strikes me as a “female Glenn Beck,” which should appeal to advertisers.
  • Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark: Just run the rehearsals for an hour every day, will attract same “train-wreck rubbernecker” audience.
  • The House That Looks like Hitler: Destined for stardom, Fox should snap it up before CNN pairs it with a house that looks like Churchill.

 

Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

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