2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
With all the hubbub surrounding Charlie Sheen and his ridiculous antics, it’s hard to remember there are young lives at stake here. No, not Charlie’s hooker/porn star “goddesses,” but his five children. Especially the 2-year-old twins he has with ex-wife Brooke Mueller, Max and Bob. It was disturbing to see Sheen’s sons living with him and his “new family” during that “20/20″ interview: You had to wonder why Brooke hadn’t swooped down during his drug arrest and demanded her kids be kept away from their publicly intoxicated father. Who was allowing them to be televised during this freak show?
We may have a clearer understanding of that after today’s custody trial. Brooke Mueller retained full custody of Max and Bob, despite the allegation that, four days ago, she was calling friends in a desperate attempt to find drug-free urine. Yes, Mueller has publicly relapsed from crack cocaine, but she got to keep her children, despite “looking unsteady on her feet” and “glassy-eyed” after the hearing.
Two days ago, the website GossipCop.com reported that Mueller was already back in rehab after failing the drug test for the custody agreement. Obviously, she was not in rehab today, so this may be a lot of Internet conjecture. What’s not gossip, however, is the fact that both of Bob and Max’s parents have spent their recent years in and out of rehabs for crack and cocaine problems. Their parents are both obsessed with reality TV (Brooke had a pilot with Paris Hilton fail, which apparently set off her recent spiraling) and aren’t above using their kids as leverage, as we’ve already seen from the Sheen interviews. It’s hard not to wonder if the children wouldn’t be better off in foster care.
Even sadder is how often cases like these go through the court system. It’s only when celebrities are involved that we sit up and take notice.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.