2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
You can call Anthony Weiner’s online exchanges with 26-year-old single mother Meagan Broussard and Las Vegas blackjack dealer Lisa Weiss any number of things. Unimaginative, sure. Oddly “Daily Show” obsessed, it’s true. But clearly consensual.
In contrast, after the bulge tweet seen round the world, Gennette Cordova, the college student less than half his age to whom Weiner sent it, stated that “There have never been any inappropriate exchanges between Anthony Weiner and myself. I also do not have a clear understanding as to how or why exactly I am involved in this fiasco. I do know that my life has been seriously impacted by speculation and faulty allegations.” And Weiner, somewhere in his rambling press conference earlier this week, backed up Cordova’s claim, stating, “I tweeted a photograph of myself that I intended to send as a direct message as part of a joke to a woman in Seattle…. This woman was unwittingly dragged into this and bears absolutely no responsibility.”
That’s why, in a story I wrote yesterday, I referred to Weiner as “a predatory jerk” whose behavior, if his account of it is true, was “possibly outright harassing.” A number of readers took issue with the term “predatory,” remarking that his history, “however juvenile it was, still looks like flirtation” and that “these women are at least as into it as Weiner.”
So let’s be clear here. A declaration of admiration is not an invitation to worship your glorious dong. If a Democratic representative chooses to engage in a little online wink wink with a woman other than his wife, and said lady is up for it, that might be tacky at best. But if you are sending unsolicited photos of your penis to, say, a female reporter who catches your eye or a Twitter follower who lightheartedly expresses her fandom, that is not a “joke.” A duck walking into a bar is a joke. An unasked-for shot of your erection is harassment. It’s an act of sexual aggression. And guys, it’s just this simple: If she didn’t ask to see your boner, don’t show her your boner.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.