2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
1. The best rapper, ever:
Lil’ Kim, watch your back. KreayShawn is on Cosmic Kev, busting rhymes like, “You play the odds, I find it odd that your Twitter page is private/You’ve got to phones, one of them stays silent.”
2. Wait, actually, this is your new favorite rapper:
Rich Hil, son of Tommy Hilfiger, whom the Observer deemed worthy of a 1,000+ word piece yesterday . This is his single, “Cookies and Apple Juice.” It’s actually not half bad. (Chet Haze must be fuming.)
3. Sorry, sorry, A. Samuels is the best rapper of all time. (Last one, I promise):
The Internet has started calling this casino exec “the 55-year-old rapper version of Rebecca Black,” though he may just be a very clever viral comedian. Here’s his single, “Livin De Life.”
4. The difference between nerds and religious people:
As it turns out, there is none. Especially if you consider George R.R. Martin your god.
5. Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader’s alien musical:
Honestly, this DVD extra is probably the best thing to come out of the movie “Paul.” Plus, Joe Lo Truglio!
“This is terrible!” laughs Kristen Wiig at one point, which can be taken either as a statement for their impromptu curtain call, or for the entirety of Simon Pegg’s CGI alien film.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.