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Zooey Deschanel

Wednesday, Nov 9, 2011 4:45 PM UTC2011-11-09T16:45:00Zl, M j, Y g:i A T

Zooey Deschanel makes my teeth hurt

The "New Girl" star has taken cuteness way too far, and it now overwhelms a once-promising talent

Zooey Deschanel

Zooey Deschanel (Credit: Fred Prouser / Reuters)

I’m worried about Zooey Deschanel. Lately I just can’t shake the fear that Dr. Drew is lurking outside her house, waiting for the right moment to pounce with a cuteness intervention. If somebody doesn’t do something soon, that lady is going to wind up the Amy Winehouse of adorableness, too whacked out on her own treacle to stop herself.

In her hit sitcom “New Girl,” Deschanel plays an exaggerated version of Zooey Deschanel — i.e., your worst nightmare. Her Jess is a recently brokenhearted (awwwww) schoolteacher (shut UP, you guys) who winds up rooming with three males of varying degrees of stinky awfulness/lovableness. Deschanel’s character wears glasses and pajamas with little hearts on them and references stuff like “An American Tail.” She refers to the male genitalia as “his pee pee and his bubbles.” It’s like one of the kids from “Toddlers and Tiaras” wound up in a sitcom. Deschanel also sings the theme song. If you crossed “That Girl” with “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” a baby duck and a bag of marshmallows, you’d start to approach what “New Girl” is like. It is a show that describes itself as “simply adorkable,” a phrase that is positively revoltasweet.

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Mary Elizabeth Williams

Mary Elizabeth Williams is a staff writer for Salon and the author of "Gimme Shelter: My Three Years Searching for the American Dream." Follow her on Twitter: @embeedubMore Mary Elizabeth Williams

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