Like little stars.
Didn’t H.L. Mencken say every convention gets the poems it deserves? In any case, here are some of the funniest limericks Salon readers contributed to dignify last week’s confab in Tampa, Fla.
For this week’s contest, we’re asking poetic-minded readers to look at the Dems’ get-together in Charlotte, N.C. As a service to posterity, however, we’ll also consider any entries that include a rhyme for the word “chair.”
Christie’s key to repeated election
Is restraint in seeking affection.
“I make them respect me,
Then they elect me!
For love I woo my reflection.”
Quentin Sullivan, Haverhill, Mass.
Tattletales, Tampa strip club, posts sign,
Says, “No Minors, No Liberals” – does fine
By the men it admits
All this week: hypocrites,
“Family values” Republican swine.
Jim Parry, Darien, Conn.
Take a look at the Tampa convention,
That gathering of minds in declension.
You’ll see some non-whites,
They’re all bathed in stage lights,
But the embrace is the purest invention.
RNC speakers begin to assemble,
And their rhetoric starts to dissemble.
From Rubio to Ryan.
There’ll be no shortage of lyin’.
Causing fact-checkers all over to tremble.
Jim Brown, Scarsdale, N.Y.
Our Mitt Romney is really a blast,
He’s completely re-written his past.
He will be what you like;
Oh, the poses he’ll strike!
If he could only remember the last.
Stephen Turner, Milwaukee, Wis.
This week we’ll turn to Charlotte. Send your entries to firstname.lastname@example.org. Deadline is 5 p.m. Friday. Please include you name and home town. Happy Rhyming.
Alex Halperin is news editor at Salon. You can follow him on Twitter @alexhalperin.More Alex Halperin.
Like little stars.
World's best pie apple. Essential for Tarte Tatin. Has five prominent ribs.
So pretty. So early. So ephemeral. Tastes like strawberry candy (slightly).
My personal fave. Ultra-crisp. Graham cracker flavor. Should be famous. Isn't.
High flavored with notes of blood orange and allspice. Very rare.
Jefferson's favorite. The best all-purpose American apple.
New Hampshire's native son has a grizzled appearance and a strangely addictive curry flavor. Very, very rare.
Makes the best hard cider in America. Soon to be famous.
Freak seedling found in an Oregon field in the '60s has pink flesh and a fragrant strawberry snap. Makes a killer rose cider.
Ben Franklin's favorite. Queen Victoria's favorite. Only apple native to NYC.
Really does taste like pineapple.