Silly five-line poems about the GOP convention
Didn’t H.L. Mencken say every convention gets the poems it deserves? In any case, here are some of the funniest limericks Salon readers contributed to dignify last week’s confab in Tampa, Fla.
For this week’s contest, we’re asking poetic-minded readers to look at the Dems’ get-together in Charlotte, N.C. As a service to posterity, however, we’ll also consider any entries that include a rhyme for the word “chair.”
Christie’s key to repeated election
Is restraint in seeking affection.
“I make them respect me,
Then they elect me!
For love I woo my reflection.”
Quentin Sullivan, Haverhill, Mass.
Tattletales, Tampa strip club, posts sign,
Says, “No Minors, No Liberals” – does fine
By the men it admits
All this week: hypocrites,
“Family values” Republican swine.
Jim Parry, Darien, Conn.
Take a look at the Tampa convention,
That gathering of minds in declension.
You’ll see some non-whites,
They’re all bathed in stage lights,
But the embrace is the purest invention.
RNC speakers begin to assemble,
And their rhetoric starts to dissemble.
From Rubio to Ryan.
There’ll be no shortage of lyin’.
Causing fact-checkers all over to tremble.
Jim Brown, Scarsdale, N.Y.
Our Mitt Romney is really a blast,
He’s completely re-written his past.
He will be what you like;
Oh, the poses he’ll strike!
If he could only remember the last.
Stephen Turner, Milwaukee, Wis.
This week we’ll turn to Charlotte. Send your entries to email@example.com. Deadline is 5 p.m. Friday. Please include you name and home town. Happy Rhyming.
More Related Stories
- Peace Corps to allow gay couples to volunteer together
- Moore officials: Funds for "safe rooms" were held up by red tape
- Rand Paul: Congress should apologize to Apple, not the other way around
- Rescue crews race to find tornado survivors
- Looting in Oklahoma?
- Hundreds of low-wage federally contracted workers strike in D.C.
- Okla. mother's tearful reunion with her 8-year-old son
- New campaign compares gun control to anti-LGBT discrimination
- Study: Salt Lake City is gay parenting capital of the U.S.
- Inhofe and Coburn: Red state hypocrites
- Teen activist to meet with Abercrombie CEO
- Watch: Family emerges from storm shelter after tornado
- Must-see morning clip: Barackalypse Now
- Okla. tornado survivor reunited with dog trapped in rubble live on camera
- Is Pope Francis an exorcist?
- Oklahoma death count confirmed at 24, 9 children
- Frantic parents search for children in tornado's wake
- Crews dig through rubble after deadly tornado
- 51 killed in massive Oklahoma tornado
- Don't cry climate-change wolf
- Record tornado devastates Oklahoma
Featured Slide Shows
The week in 10 picsclose X
- 1 of 11
Lisa Montgomery embraces her nephew Thursday after a tornado tore apart her home in Cleburne, Texas. The twister killed six people and destroyed entire swaths of the North Texas town.
Credit: AP/LM Otero
Jack McMahon, the defense attorney for abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell, speaks outside the Criminal Justice Center in Philadelphia Tuesday. His client was convicted of killing three babies in his clinic, and will serve multiple life sentences.
Credit: AP/Matt Rourke
A photo taken Monday captures Vice President Joe Biden's response to a Milwaukee second-grader's innovative proposal to end America's epidemic of gun violence. This guy!
Credit: AP/Jenny Aicher
Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., flanked by a grouper-eyed Michele Bachmann, addresses the IRS' admission that it targeted Tea Party groups in advance of the 2012 election. In an op-ed for CNN Thursday, the Kentucky senator slammed the president for his faux outrage.
Credit: AP/Molly Riley
Ousted IRS chief Steven Miller is sworn in on Capitol Hill Friday. Miller testified before the House Ways and Means Committee on the extra scrutiny the agency gave conservative groups applying for tax-exempt status.
Credit: AP/J. Scott Applewhite
Attorney General Eric Holder pauses as he testifies on Capitol Hill before the House Judiciary Committee Wednesday. Holder is under fire, among other things, for the Justice Department's gathering of phone records at the Associated Press.
Credit: AP/Carolyn Kaster
O.J. Simpson sits during an evidentiary hearing at Clark County District Court in Las Vegas, Nev., Thursday. Simpson, who is currently serving a nine-to-33-year sentence in state prison for armed robbery and kidnapping, is using a writ of habeas corpus to seek a new trial.
Credit: AP/Las Vegas Review-Journal/Jeff Scheid
Major Tom to ground control: On Sunday astronaut Chris Hadfield recorded the first music video from space, a cover of David Bowie's "Space Oddity."
Credit: AP/NASA/Chris Hadfield
When it rains it pours. President Barack Obama speaks during a news conference Thursday with Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, inexplicably inspiring an #umbrellagate Twitter meme.
Credit: AP/Jacquelyn Martin
A smoke plume rises high above a road block at the intersection of County A and Ross Road east of Solon Springs, Wis., Tuesday. No injuries were reported, but the the wildfire caused evacuations across northwestern Wisconsin.
Credit: AP/The Duluth News-Tribune/Clint Austin
Recent Slide Shows
- 1 of 11