2014's fast food atrocities
Burger King's black cheeseburger: Made with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, arguably a symbol of meat's destructive effect on the planet. Only available in Japan.
Didn’t H.L. Mencken say every convention gets the poems it deserves? In any case, here are some of the funniest limericks Salon readers contributed to dignify last week’s confab in Tampa, Fla.
For this week’s contest, we’re asking poetic-minded readers to look at the Dems’ get-together in Charlotte, N.C. As a service to posterity, however, we’ll also consider any entries that include a rhyme for the word “chair.”
Christie’s key to repeated election
Is restraint in seeking affection.
“I make them respect me,
Then they elect me!
For love I woo my reflection.”
Quentin Sullivan, Haverhill, Mass.
Tattletales, Tampa strip club, posts sign,
Says, “No Minors, No Liberals” – does fine
By the men it admits
All this week: hypocrites,
“Family values” Republican swine.
Jim Parry, Darien, Conn.
Take a look at the Tampa convention,
That gathering of minds in declension.
You’ll see some non-whites,
They’re all bathed in stage lights,
But the embrace is the purest invention.
RNC speakers begin to assemble,
And their rhetoric starts to dissemble.
From Rubio to Ryan.
There’ll be no shortage of lyin’.
Causing fact-checkers all over to tremble.
Jim Brown, Scarsdale, N.Y.
Our Mitt Romney is really a blast,
He’s completely re-written his past.
He will be what you like;
Oh, the poses he’ll strike!
If he could only remember the last.
Stephen Turner, Milwaukee, Wis.
This week we’ll turn to Charlotte. Send your entries to email@example.com. Deadline is 5 p.m. Friday. Please include you name and home town. Happy Rhyming.
Alex Halperin is news editor at Salon. You can follow him on Twitter @alexhalperin.More Alex Halperin.
Domino's Specialty Chicken: It's like regular pizza, except instead of a crust, there's fried chicken. The company's marketing officer calls it "one of the most creative, innovative menu items we have ever had” -- brain power put to good use.
KFC'S ZINGER DOUBLE DOWN KING: A sandwich made by adding a burger patty to the infamous chicken-instead-of-buns creation can only be described using all caps. NO BUN ALL MEAT. Only available in South Korea.
Taco Bell's Waffle Taco: It took two years for Taco Bell to develop this waffle folded in the shape of a taco, the stand-out star of its new breakfast menu.
Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger: Only attendees at the San Diego County Fair were given the opportunity to taste the official version of this donut-hamburger-heart attack combo. The rest of America has reasonable odds of not dropping dead tomorrow.
Taco Bell's Quesarito: A burrito wrapped in a quesadilla inside an enigma. Quarantined to one store in Oklahoma City.