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Friday, Nov 2, 2012 5:08 PM UTC

Salon limerick contest

The last batch of silly verse before election day

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Topics: 2012 Elections, Poetry, Writers and Writing, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Limericks, , , ,

Salon limerick contest

Salon’s reader-poets take on drones, Hurricane Sandy and the absurdity of the election process.

 

“Why is the East Coast under the brine?”

Says a preacher: The reason’s divine.

“They’d avoid the malaise,

If they’d persecute gays,

And teach children intelligent design.”

Michael Moulton

Gainesville, Fla.

 

Lesser evil, it now has been shown,

Deals death from the sky by the drone.

With this for a lesser,

Mitt’s greater transgressor,

Must be evil beyond that ever known.

Daniel Fleisher

Baltimore

 

Ho Donald, once more you’ve weighed in;

Raised your whine in the midst of the din; 

“I’m SIGNIFICANT . . . PLEASE!”

Twenty-four-carat sleaze . . .

And a brain to embellish a pin.

JF Stover

Hill City, Kan.

 

As a middle-class gal from the South,

Of course I have a big mouth.

I don’t have a filter,

Or shame for my pilfer.

My politics take over the house.

Mary McChesney

Norfolk, Va.

 

Ohio and Iowa, too,

Are red, no wait, maybe they’re blue.

If your state doesn’t swing,

Voting isn’t your thing.

You’re free to ignore this whole zoo.

Michael Berman

Edmonds, Wash

 

The deadline for election limericks is 5 p.m. on Wednesday November 7. Send your entries to limericks@salon.com. Good luck!

 

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Alex Halperin is news editor at Salon. You can follow him on Twitter @alexhalperin. More Alex Halperin.

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What To Read Awards: Top 10 Books of 2012 slide show

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  • 10. "The Guardians" by Sarah Manguso: "Though Sarah Manguso’s 'The Guardians' is specifically about losing a dear friend to suicide, she pries open her intelligent heart to describe our strange, sad modern lives. I think about the small resonating moments of Manguso’s narrative every day." -- M. Rebekah Otto, The Rumpus

  • 9. "Beautiful Ruins" by Jess Walter: "'Beautiful Ruins' leads my list because it's set on the coast of Italy in 1962 and Richard Burton makes an entirely convincing cameo appearance. What more could you want?" -- Maureen Corrigan, NPR's "Fresh Air"

  • 8. "Arcadia" by Lauren Groff: "'Arcadia' captures our painful nostalgia for an idyllic past we never really had." -- Ron Charles, Washington Post

  • 7. "Gone Girl" by Gillian Flynn: "When a young wife disappears on the morning of her fifth wedding anniversary, her husband becomes the automatic suspect in this compulsively readable thriller, which is as rich with sardonic humor and social satire as it is unexpected plot twists." -- Marjorie Kehe, Christian Science Monitor

  • 6. "How Should a Person Be" by Sheila Heti: "There was a reason this book was so talked about, and it’s because Heti has tapped into something great." -- Jason Diamond, Vol. 1 Brooklyn

  • 4. TIE "NW" by Zadie Smith and "Far From the Tree" by Andrew Solomon: "Zadie Smith’s 'NW' is going to enter the canon for the sheer audacity of the book’s project." -- Roxane Gay, New York Times "'Far From the Tree' by Andrew Solomon is, to my mind, a life-changing book, one that's capable of overturning long-standing ideas of identity, family and love." -- Laura Miller, Salon

  • 3. "Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk" by Ben Fountain: "'Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk' says a lot about where we are today," says Marjorie Kehe of the Christian Science Monitor. "Pretty much the whole point of that novel," adds Time's Lev Grossman.

  • 2. "Bring Up the Bodies" by Hilary Mantel: "Even more accomplished than the preceding novel in this sequence, 'Wolf Hall,' Mantel's new installment in the fictionalized life of Thomas Cromwell -- master secretary and chief fixer to Henry VIII -- is a high-wire act, a feat of novelistic derring-do." -- Laura Miller, Salon

  • 1. "Behind the Beautiful Forevers" by Katherine Boo: "Like the most remarkable literary nonfiction, it reads with the bite of a novel and opens up a corner of the world that most of us know absolutely nothing about. It stuck with me all year." -- Eric Banks, president of the National Book Critics Circle

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