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Friday, Nov 9, 2012 3:48 PM UTC

Salon limerick contest

Triumphant and silly poems about the election

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Topics: Writers and Writing, Poetry, 2012 Elections, salon limerick contest, , ,

Salon limerick contest

Salon readers assess the results in five line verse:

 

Now NBC has a good reason,

To air “The Apprentice” this season:

For the public’s engrossed,

When its bigoted host,

Foments revolution and treason.

John Dillon

News Short n’ Sweet

 

It’s hard not to sound off and quote,

All the brain rot that sunk Romney’s boat,

Or to shout, “You unsightly,

Extremist nuts, bite me!”

But I’m far too enlightened to gloat.

Johanna Richmond

Red Hook N.Y.

 

I got rich by myself, so should you.

If you were smart you would know what to do,

First you pick the right dad,

Then you take what he had,

And keep those lower from starting a coup.

Kim Anderson

Gilbert, Ariz.

 

“Vote for me,” Mitt Romney just said.

“Or else the economy’s dead.”

A plea or a threat,

Or him hedging his bet,

On congressional gridlock ahead?

Mike Moulton
Gainesville, Fla

 

There once was a dog named Seamus,

Whose owner had made him famous,

By strapping him to the roof,

Poor ol’ Seamus could say only, “Woof!”

As the contents shot from his anus.

Linda Moore

Hesperia, Calif.

 

At long last this great day has arrived!

And we wonder just how we survived.

The unseemly abundance,

Of rude, loutish pundits,

And the lies they so proudly contrived!

Gary Sandy

Woodland, Calif.

 

Since a visit from Hurricane Sandy,

All-a sudden the Government’s dandy.

A new friendship will forge,

And Chris Christie will gorge,

On tax money as if it were candy.

Kit Thornton

Charles Town, W.V.

 

Deadline for the next contest is Sunday November 18 at 5p.m. Send your submissions to limericks@salon.com. Good luck!

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Alex Halperin is news editor at Salon. You can follow him on Twitter @alexhalperin. More Alex Halperin.

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  • 10. "The Guardians" by Sarah Manguso: "Though Sarah Manguso’s 'The Guardians' is specifically about losing a dear friend to suicide, she pries open her intelligent heart to describe our strange, sad modern lives. I think about the small resonating moments of Manguso’s narrative every day." -- M. Rebekah Otto, The Rumpus

  • 9. "Beautiful Ruins" by Jess Walter: "'Beautiful Ruins' leads my list because it's set on the coast of Italy in 1962 and Richard Burton makes an entirely convincing cameo appearance. What more could you want?" -- Maureen Corrigan, NPR's "Fresh Air"

  • 8. "Arcadia" by Lauren Groff: "'Arcadia' captures our painful nostalgia for an idyllic past we never really had." -- Ron Charles, Washington Post

  • 7. "Gone Girl" by Gillian Flynn: "When a young wife disappears on the morning of her fifth wedding anniversary, her husband becomes the automatic suspect in this compulsively readable thriller, which is as rich with sardonic humor and social satire as it is unexpected plot twists." -- Marjorie Kehe, Christian Science Monitor

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  • 4. TIE "NW" by Zadie Smith and "Far From the Tree" by Andrew Solomon: "Zadie Smith’s 'NW' is going to enter the canon for the sheer audacity of the book’s project." -- Roxane Gay, New York Times "'Far From the Tree' by Andrew Solomon is, to my mind, a life-changing book, one that's capable of overturning long-standing ideas of identity, family and love." -- Laura Miller, Salon

  • 3. "Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk" by Ben Fountain: "'Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk' says a lot about where we are today," says Marjorie Kehe of the Christian Science Monitor. "Pretty much the whole point of that novel," adds Time's Lev Grossman.

  • 2. "Bring Up the Bodies" by Hilary Mantel: "Even more accomplished than the preceding novel in this sequence, 'Wolf Hall,' Mantel's new installment in the fictionalized life of Thomas Cromwell -- master secretary and chief fixer to Henry VIII -- is a high-wire act, a feat of novelistic derring-do." -- Laura Miller, Salon

  • 1. "Behind the Beautiful Forevers" by Katherine Boo: "Like the most remarkable literary nonfiction, it reads with the bite of a novel and opens up a corner of the world that most of us know absolutely nothing about. It stuck with me all year." -- Eric Banks, president of the National Book Critics Circle

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