Brittany turns to sexperts Karen and George for advice on Josh. The cuddling went too far, she confides. She was getting turned on! The camera doesn't catch George's reaction to this unappetizing revelation. What in God's name should she do?

"Don't stay up late," says Karen. "And keep a safe distance."

Preserving Brittany's virginity is turning out to be a group effort.

Jordan's helping, too. "I think it's a full-on love triangle," she says grimly in the red confessional room. "I've got this little devil inside me that wants to antagonize Brittany. I think as long as I'm here Josh and Brittany aren't going to be hooking up. If I can help it."

They're certainly trying: Sprawled across a bed, Josh and Brittany discuss the previous night's cuddle. Josh: "Did you get hot last night? I got hot!"

Jordan comes in all sweaty from evildoing, and silence descends on the innocent youngsters.

What did Jordan's proud parents do to her as a toddler, anyway? Strap her to her highchair, prop her eyes open with toothpicks and force her to watch reruns of "Dynasty" and "Dallas" until her gums bled? Where else does one learn such sociopathic bitchery?

Here's Jordan in the kitchen, toying with Curtis: "My bed is always open to you."

"Oooh," says the "not quite convincing as a sexual being" Curtis, "whether it's vacant or not?"

Jordan, slightly mocking: "Ooooooh, whether it's vacant or not."

All Curtis can offer in return is one of his seductive equine laughs.

The next round of expulsions is much on the residents' active if tiny minds. The group has to make a new pair of banishment nominees on the live show Wednesday. Over the next week the audience, via 99-cent phone calls, will vote to expel one of the two nominated. Eddie reveals his nominating strategy to Brittany during an intimate tête-à-tête.

His death list: Jordan, Jamie, Josh -- and then the residents whose names don't begin with the letter J: Curtis and Cassandra. That would leave Eddie, his metaphorical mom and dad (Karen and George) and sister Brittany. Brittany's fine with that.

Eddie, the good son, says it would be cool for George to be the final resident left standing. "I hope he walks out with the dough."

"I still want to win, though," Brittany says quickly.

"Jordan causes too much tension," Eddie explains. "Jamie could get a soap opera," he rationalizes.

"Yeah," says the Minnesota moppet, excited at this strategizing. "And George could get a chicken commercial!"

The group's new challenge has to do with dominoes. This excruciating development is followed by something almost unspeakable: a mock trial about flag burning, with Curtis (an actual lawyer) and Cassandra as the opposing attorneys. This may be the most pathetic thing ever seen on national television. Together, this group has the brainpower of one very dumb CBS executive.

Later, Karen runs down her hit list as well. Jamie and Curtis -- they didn't stand up to Mega. Cassandra -- she doesn't talk much. She likes Josh, she says, a bit dreamily. Josh now has Jordan, Brittany and Karen panting after him. Not to mention Curtis.

Karen still doesn't like him, though. "I don't think Curtis is very deep," she tells George. The great oaf bobs his head (perfect for a chicken commercial) in docile agreement.

(C.C./B.W.)