CBS is trying to spice up the hour-long Saturday show -- half-recap of the events of the week, half new footage -- by adding new scenes to the recap half. What's the point of that? So we see Brittany telling Karen that if she decides to leave her husband she and her kids can come live with her! (Brittany owns a condo in Minneapolis.)

The rest of it hits a new low of "Big Brother" tediousness. Too much of it is all about Brittany: the virgin, the clown, the Minneapolis moptop.

At the start, the women sit around and talk babies. Jamie, the beauty queen and valedictorian, says she wants lots -- and to adopt even more. This horrifies Brittany: "I'll just stay a virgin," she chirps.

In the red confessional room, Brittany talks about Jordan. She's finally beginning to grasp Jordan's malevolence, in the manner of a mouse suddenly realizing she's living in close proximity to a cat. "Knowing that she's got this little vindictive mean streak in her I don't feel safe being completely open with her," Brittany says. "I don't think she'd ever have my best interests in mind."

In a group encounter session in the living room, Brittany shares: "I thought I was going to come in here and it would be, like, self exploration and [I could] figure out what my passions were and figure out what kind of job I wanted, and I haven't at all!" she says brightly.

But, she says, giving a glimpse again of the tears beneath that clown's face, "I don't miss my life at all; I don’t want to go back to how it was. There's really nothing in 25 years that I've made for myself that really matters; so how happy am I?"

Then we're forced to watch Brittany and Josh, still recovering from Jordan's manipulative triumph of the week before, try to explain themselves to each other in a bedroom tête-à-tête. "I know I made a mistake," says Josh, unconvincingly. "I want to be what I planned on being: the halfway decent guy I know I can be." That's what we like about Josh: He sets realistic goals for himself.

Brittany: "I want to believe you, but do I believe you because I believe you or because I want to?" Brittany's quoting from her dog-eared copy of "Koans for Dummies."

Then Josh ruins everything by bringing up Jamie again: "If me and Jamie ever had anything it would be outside of the house." We think so, too: On the day before hell freezes over.

Eddie's ruminating about himself as well, lounging in the pool, with Jamie leading a sympathetic ear. He's beating to death a metaphor about what personal qualities he packed along with him for the "Big Brother" ordeal: "I do have a really caring side," he says. "I left that at home. I brought the ability to handle exile, totally loneliness. So I can't get damaged." Eddie is a strong silent type in the Western of his mind.

"The part I brought -- the arsenal I brought with me -- I can grow and add on to," he continues. "I brought my mind, I brought my observant qualities: my ability to stop, sit back in my chair and watch people. I brought my ingenuity."

Eddie obviously has a saddlebag or two he hasn't unpacked yet.

The group finishes setting up the dominoes. They all fall as they're supposed to. Another flop of an achievement.

The last scene is a horrifying one: Half the household is up carousing and drinking at 4 a.m. Eddie hops into the bedroom to rouse George. Then we're forced to watch Eddie, Josh and Curtis drink beers and talk about women, complete with burping, drunken accents and exaggerated gestures. To make things worse, Josh isn't wearing a shirt.

Curtis on Jordan: "I think she's physically hot and she's pretty fun and pretty cool." It's amazing how you have a Stanford law degree and still be a freakin' fool. The three then close the show va-va-vooming about Jamie and riotously discussing masturbating in the garden.

(B.W.)